What’s expected of me?

Being a groom doesn’t always mean being hands-off

Once upon a time, the groom got to put his feet up while the bride’s relatives got on with organising the wedding. Nowadays, there’s the opportunity to get much more involved in the preparations for the big day -- if you want to.

A lot depends on who is paying for the wedding. If it’s the bride’s family, it’s really only fair to let them lead the planning. However, if like many couples now, you and the bride are paying for the celebrations, you may want to have more input into what happens.

Whatever the situation, there are areas that are traditionally seen as the groom's duties.

Grooms Speech & Duties Book

From planning your honeymoon to giving a great speech, the Grooms Speech & Duties Book has all you need to know about what to do and when to do it on your big day.

Picking up some bills

Every family makes their own arrangements when it comes to who pays for what, but generally, the groom covers the cost of:

  • the wedding ring/s
  • the hire/cost of his own clothes
  • all church/register office expenses (excluding the flowers) and in the case of the church including the music (organist, choir, soloists)
  • transport, such as the wedding cars for the bride and bridesmaids
  • the honeymoon
  • the first night hotel
  • the bride's bouquet
  • the bridesmaids’ flowers
  • buttonholes for himself, the best man and ushers
  • thank you presents for the best man, ushers and bridesmaids

If this seems a lot, have a look at the list of things the bride’s family traditionally pays for! You find this in Father of the bride - Should I pay?

Choosing the best man and attendants

The groom chooses his best man and ushers. Don't be pressured into choosing someone you don't want. The best man and ushers are also known as 'groomsmen' -- they are your people!

However, avoid choosing a best man who:

  • used to go out with your future wife
  • is likely to let you down on the day in some way (by getting drunk, making a rude speech, not turning up...)
  • is no good with parents/has little sense of occasion
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Groom