Flower girls, ring bearers and child attendants

Cute or a bride’s biggest mistake?

Many brides like the thought of having children in the wedding party on the big day. But is it a good idea? Child bridesmaids and pageboys might look sweet in the photographs, but can you trust them to behave themselves? And would they want to do it?

If you do decide to have children among your attendants, it’s important to check with their parents to see whether the child will be available and happy to do it. Whether or not the parents should contribute to the cost of the child’s outfits can be tricky, and it’s important that who pays for what is established early on.

There are several traditional roles for child attendants at weddings:

Flower girls

The flower girl tends to be a very young bridesmaid, and walks down the aisle in front of everyone else during the wedding ceremony. She gets her name because she sometimes scatters petals or confetti on the ground for the bride to walk on, and sometimes hands out confetti for people to throw after the ceremony. Often she is dressed as a flower fairy, or sometimes in the same colours as the bridesmaids. She can sit with her parents during the wedding.

Ring bearers

Sometimes the bride and groom ask one of their attendants, usually a pageboy, to be their ring bearer. A ring bearer will carry a cushion with the rings on that will be passed to the bride and groom when it is time for them to exchange wedding rings. It’s up to the best man to ensure those precious rings get to the ring bearer before the ceremony.

Little bridesmaids and pageboys

Age is an important factor when choosing these attendants, as while very young bridesmaids and pageboys may look delightful they could end up being a fidgeting nightmare and are often reluctant to perform to cue.

Although the main function of the little ones is to add to the general beauty and delight of the day, as everyone knows, those angelic smiles can sometimes hide a mule-like stubbornness when it comes to coaxing them into smart clothes and good behaviour.

This is where the chief bridesmaid comes into her own, as does a small bag of treats, to encourage good behaviour. Parents of younger children may need to be roped in to help in the preparations, however, very often they tend to be more co-operative if Mum or Dad is not around so be sure to arrange plenty of helpers.