Dressing up

What are you going to wear?

This is the big question for most bridesmaids and the fear of ending up in something hideous does persist.

Traditionally, the bride chooses the bridesmaid’s dresses. What she picks will depend on several factors, most importantly what she is wearing herself. If the bride chooses a long elaborate gown, then her bridesmaids can be similarly dressed. If, however she decides to marry in a shorter, simpler style, then it would look odd for the attendants to be dressed in frills and flounces.

If the bridesmaids are different shapes and sizes, the chief bridesmaid and the bride have the complicated task of choosing a style and colour to suit everyone. One solution is for the bride to choose material in a particular shade and for the bridesmaids to have dresses made in a style that suits them.

Who pays?

Who pays for the bridesmaids’ dresses is a matter of some debate. Traditionally, bridesmaids were provided with material from which they made a dress to their own design. The bride could only dictate the colour, the rest was down to them to make whatever suited best.

Modern brides are keen to be more co-ordinated and most want to have some control over the outfits. In this case then the bride or her family should pay.

However, parents do sometimes pay for their children’s clothes and older bridesmaids might help out with out with the cost of their dresses, if budget is tight.

If the bride is letting you choose what you wear, and it's something you can wear again, you also might want to contribute to the cost. Alternatively, you might pay towards your shoes, handbag or jewellery. If a lot of money is being spent, it's wise to get something that can be worn again, to a ball or a smart dinner. Another option is for the bride to sell them on afterwards, so consider this.

When it comes to payment, just make sure that everything is clear. If a friend asks you to be bridesmaid, it's perfectly acceptable to ask fairly early on whether you will be paying for your outfit. If she is choosing an expensive designer number for you and would like you to pay for it yourself, it might effect your decision on whether or not to be bridesmaid.

Remember to make time for proper dress fittings. If you’re chief bridesmaid, you should co-ordinate the other bridesmaids' fitting sessions, to take the pressure off the bride. All the bridesmaids should meet up at least once before the wedding day, and the chief bridesmaid can organise this. 
 
For more tips and ideas on what to wear, visit our Bridesmaid's Fashion section.