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Tricky situations - wedding guests with a history
How to handle wedding guests with a history
When it comes to wedding protocol, two issues that frequently seem to cause problems are the seating plan and receiving line.
There is a traditional way of dealing with both, but if you've got divorced parents who really don't get on or feuding relatives who would rather commit murder with a cake knife than make polite conversation, before you know it, you can find yourself tearing your hair out. And that's not going to look good in the photos. So here's a little practical advice to help you deal with these potentially tricky situations.
Table tantrums
The traditional top table can be difficult to organise. It's the focus of attention and any difficulties are going to be obvious. The traditional way to seat everyone is down one side of a rectangular table, facing the rest of the room. From the left, the order is as follows: chief bridesmaid, groom's father, bride's mother, groom, bride, bride's father, groom's mother, best man. An alternative to this is to swap the fathers so that the bride's parents sit together and the groom's parents set together.
But what do you do when there are divorced parents? Here are some other variations:
If the bride's parents have divorced and remarried
From the left: bride's stepfather, chief bridesmaid, groom's father, bride's mother, groom, bride, bride's father, groom's mother, best man, bride's stepmother.
If the groom's parents have divorced and remarried
From the left: best man, groom's stepmother, groom's father, bride's mother, groom, bride, bride's father, groom's mother, groom's stepfather, chief bridesmaid.
If both sets of parents have divorced and remarried
From the left: groom's stepmother, bride's stepfather, chief bridesmaid, groom's father, bride's mother, groom, bride, bride's father, groom's mother, best man, bride's stepmother, groom's stepfather.
Roundly does it
If you want to avoid any awkward hierarchies, particularly if there is any resentment or bitterness lurking between current partners and exes, why not have a round table rather than oblong one? This way, you'll also be able to speak more easily with everyone, rather than having them miles away.
'I went to a friend's wedding where both sets of parents were acrimoniously divorced and all four parents had re-married people each other couldn't stand,' remembers Annabel.
'The bride and groom wanted everyone there, but no one would accept the various top table plans the couple suggested. In the end, the bride and groom decided to have a big circular table in the centre of the reception, with guests on other circular tables around it. Each couple sat next to each other with a bridesmaid or best man or bride or groom separating each warring couple. It was unorthodox, but it worked!'
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