Tricky situations - wedding guests with a history

How to handle wedding guests with a history

Better the devil you know...

While it's best to avoid seating sworn enemies next to each other, sometimes it's unavoidable. If this happens, warn each person in advance. Tania and Michael had a best man and bridesmaid who couldn't stand each other. The newlyweds spoke to both of them beforehand, and told them that they had to put their (huge) differences aside for just one day. And credit to the both of them, they did.

One of the most important things to remember is that the onus is on others to co-operate and be at least civil to each other. It's not for you to come up with the seating plan from heaven that will magically wipe out all tension. Of course you want people to get on and be happy on your special day, but don't let their issues become yours.

If you're finding it impossible to organise a harmonious top table, do away with tradition and have a romantic top table for two -- the bride and groom!

Church dilemmas

It's traditional for the bride's family and friends to be seated on the left-hand side of the altar, with the groom's bunch on the right. But what if you've got mutual friends? When they are asked by the ushers whether it's the bride or groom that they know, it can be embarrassing for them to choose. So why not let the ushers know what side you want them to sit on in advance? It prevents congestion at the church door and makes everyone's lives a whole lot easier. And if you have a very uneven ratio of guests, just have the ushers fill up the seats equally on each side as guests arrive.

Getting in line

The receiving line can be organised as the guests leave the wedding ceremony or as they arrive at the reception venue, which is the most popular choice. The conventional way of arranging this is to have the bride's mother and father first, then the groom's parents and then the bride and groom. You may like to add the best man and chief bridesmaid on the end too.

The order of the receiving line is based on the notion that the bride's parents pay for the entire wedding -- something that is obviously becoming less and less the norm nowadays. There's no reason why you have to stick to the traditional order or even have a receiving line at all, although it does give you the chance to talk to every guest individually and thank them for coming.

Instead of a full line-up, the bride and groom could do the welcoming on their own -- it's a lot quicker and avoids any potential family problems completely. Alternatively, if you don't want guests to wait in line, take time to walk around each table during the wedding breakfast.