Do ushers make wedding speeches?

An usher’s duties on the wedding day may include saying a few words

Traditionally at weddings, the father of the bride, the groom, the best man and sometimes the bride make speeches at the reception. However there are always exceptions to this rule.

The father of the bride, for instance, may be estranged from his daughter's family or he may have died before her wedding day...

An unexpected illness or accident may deprive the reception of its best man...

Or possibly the obvious choice for best man (a brother or future brother-in-law) wants the role but is terrified of speaking in public...

Step forward, the usher!

If you’ve been asked to give a wedding speech on behalf of someone else, or even in addition to the main speakers, here's what you need to know and do to survive the experience.

Say it like you mean it

The key to a good wedding speech is sincerity. And in order to be sincere you have to know your subject. If you’re a close family friend or relative, you may already have plenty of anecdotes to draw on with which to pepper your speech.

However, if you’re not all that close to the bridal couple, you’ll need to start some serious information gathering -- and sooner rather than later.

Call any family members and friends who know the couple well and ask them to provide you with information and pictures documenting sports-day triumphs, amateur dramatic or artistic talent, teenage crushes, academic and professional achievement, anecdotes and any scurrilous bits of gossip. Anything, in short, that will help you personalise your words.

Use the time

If you’ve been asked to give a speech in good time before the wedding, then -- in addition to the research tips above -- use the weeks before the big day to get to know the bridal couple a little better. This personal contact will be a great help when you come to actually write and give your speech.

If, on the other hand, you’ve been asked to stand in at short notice, no one will blame you for choosing to keep your speech short and simple. As long as you congratulate the newly-married couple and wish them well in the future, compliment the bride on her appearance and say any thank yous that are expected of you, you can’t go far wrong. In such cases, it can be helpful to remember that all a wedding speech really is an extended toast.

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