Humanist weddings

Humanist ceremonies are highly personal and individual. Here’s your essential guide...

Booking the wedding venue

Find out how many the venue will accommodate. There may be a limit on numbers depending, for example, on the exits available. This may affect the number of guests that can be invited to the service

If you decide to have the ceremony in a public place, make sure you find out if you can take photographs, arrange your own flowers, throw confetti etc.

Ideally, the venue should be free for a rehearsal. This usually takes place a few days before the wedding or on the evening before, depending when the main participants are available. Everyone is in normal dress, though.

Guests at a Humanist wedding

Having discovered how much room there is for guests at the venue, you and your parents will have to decide who to invite. It might be nice to include something on the invitation to describe what a humanist wedding entails. If you are having a reception after the ceremony, you should make it clear whether your guests are invited to both or just the reception.

What to wear at your Humanist wedding

Because a humanist service is such a personal event, there's no reason why you can't wear whatever you want. However, if you are having a civil wedding before, it is customary for the bride to wear smart day clothes, rather than the full white number, although there are no set conventions. You may be influenced by whether or not you have been married before, but you don't have to be. Brides can go for a white dress and veil with the men in full morning dress, although lounge suits are more usual for men.

On the big day

As there are no legal formalities you have to abide by, the structure of the day is entirely up to you. This will, to some extent, have been rehearsed beforehand with the wedding party, so that the main participants know the procedure, their positions and when and where to move.

The ceremony has no set structure. At some point, the couple will make promises to each other and although they have no legal standing, their words will bind them together in love.

A number of couples like to reflect on and celebrate their relationship before they make their promises. The majority of ceremonies will include readings and music, usually chosen for sentimental and personal reasons. The most important thing to remember is that the ceremony is about a public declaration of your love and commitment to each other.

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