Jewish weddings

Your essential guide to the Orthodox Jewish wedding ceremony

On the big day

The men, including the ushers, arrive first. This is known as the groom’s Tish -- the time when the groom, ushers and male family members gather for song and prayers before the ceremony.
The fathers of the bride and groom and the ushers enter with the groom. The bride arrives with her mother, mother-in-law and the bridesmaids.
The next step is the Bedeken (the veiling of the bride), which is carried out immediately before the processional of the bride, groom and their attendants to the Chuppah. This takes place in another room, while most of the guests are being seated. It can be a very private time with just the rabbi, bride and groom and both sets of parents present. However, some couples like to include their close family too - aunts, uncles and siblings. The fathers bless the bride and groom and the groom veils his bride. This is an ancient custom and serves as the first of many actions by which the groom signals his commitment to clothe and protect his wife. The custom developed from the Biblical story of Jacob, who married Leah by mistake instead of Rachel, the women he loved.
The ceremony itself lasts 20 to 30 minutes and is made up of the Kiddushin and the Nisuin. The former involves the bride walking around the groom seven times on her arrival under the Chuppah, to show this is the man she wishes to marry. This action also represents the role she will play in creating an all-embracing, religious warmth within their new home. She settles on her groom’s right-hand side with her attendants to her right, the groom’s to his left. Two pre-nuptial blessings are recited over wine, a symbol of sanctification and joy, and the couple drink.
The groom now takes the wedding ring in his hand and declares to his wife: ‘Behold, you are sanctified to me with this ring, according to the law of Moses and of Israel’. He places the ring on his bride’s finger. Bride and groom are now legally married, but according to Jewish law, not yet permitted to live together as man and wife.
The Rabbi then reads the Ketuba certificate of marriage to the couple and guests in English and Hebrew, says more prayers and blesses the couple. Following this, he performs a short speech in which he talks about the bride and groom’s family histories.
The Nisuin that follows completes the ceremony. It is conducted under the Chuppah and symbolises the act of the husband bringing his new wife into his home. The bride and groom recite the seven marriage blessings (sheva brakhos). They talk of the themes of the greatness of God as creator of all, the happiness of bride and groom and the wellbeing of the eternally inspiring source of religious strength, the city of Jerusalem. These blessings are recited over a second cup of wine and at their conclusion, bride and groom again drink some of the wine.
During the service, the Eshet Chail is sung. This is a special song to the bride, which celebrates her new role as a wife.
There is usually a Jewish choir and musicians in attendance. They will perform music from prayers and psalms, as well as traditional Jewish folk music.

The breaking of the glass

To mark the end of the ceremony, the groom breaks a glass with his heel. This act expresses sadness at the destruction of the Temple in Jerusalem. A Jew, even during this personal and religious rejoicing is always encouraged to ‘set Jerusalem above my chiefest joy’. The breaking of the glass also serves as a reminder to all concerned that the forthcoming celebration and merry-making must be in accordance with what is considered appropriate and respectable behaviour.

After the ceremony

The bride and groom sign the marriage documents with two witnesses -- normally a sibling, bridesmaid, best man or usher. The couple then spend a few minutes alone together in a private room in the venue. This is known as the Yichud and must be undisturbed time. They normally break their fast at this point. The Rabbi will guard the door and the guests do not leave the ceremony venue until they reappear. Once the time is over, the guests wave the couple off, so they are the first to make their way directly to the reception.
The reception party follows -- usually a large, lavish dinner. The meal concludes with grace and a repetition of the seven marriage blessings.
Speeches are made by the Rabbi, the father of the groom and the bridegroom. Afterwards, guests dance to the accompaniment of Jewish folk music and or any other music of their choice.