Go on – ask her!

It’s the wedding season. What do you do? Avoid the arguments, seize the moment and get down on that knee? Or are you still nurturing ‘Terry and June’ nightmares of interminable couple hell? Get real. It doesn’t have to be that way. It's time to do the decent thing!

Is the time right?

If you’ve been stepping out or living together for what seems like a lifetime already, there comes a time when it just becomes rude not to have popped the question. Understand that every woman reaches a stage in her life when she wants you to be legally obliged to come home every night. Don’t fight it -- like a bungee jump, you know you have to do one sometime.

Listen to your heart

Don’t panic. You will know in your heart of hearts if you do want to get hitched. If it feels like you’re about to resign yourself to a life sentence, don’t do it. However, if you feel like moving your life on and putting a bit of deep and meaningful into your daily grind, then now could be a good time.

Proposal politics

Be aware that not only do you have to get your own head around the ‘lifetime commitment’ thing, but also the whole politics of the proposal. Do you really have to ask her dad first? What about the ring? A choice to be made together? Or be bold, be traditional and buy it solo? And how much do you spend? What are her favourite stones? Where do you ask her? In the pub? Over a curry? Aaaaagh, so many decisions!

Be prepared

Breathe. That’s it, relax. In terms of good long-term diplomatic relations, do ask her dad for her hand. Have you ever wondered why there are so many in-law jokes? It’s because they’re true. So manage them. Believe me, vast sums of good will could be generated by you doing the decent thing. Of course, if they hate your guts and would rather be hung, drawn and quartered than see their innocent baby girl marry a no-brainer Neanderthal like yourself, then we’d advise you to get your girl’s agreement first. The last thing you want is the love of your life being bundled into the back of a white transit, her parents pushing a one-way ticket to Katmandu into her hand.

Diamonds, definitely

The next concern is the ring. The ring is crucial. No girl wants to wear something for the rest of her life that looks like it fell out of a Christmas cracker. Take advice. Mutual girlfriends come in handy here, BUT NOT EXES. Bitter ex-girlfriends have been known to select rings that would not look out of place on a curtain rail. As a general rule, diamonds are a good thing. The bigger the better. Just go for the most expensive diamond you can afford -- how hard can that be? Alternatively you could wait and choose it together -- if you want to spend twelve weekends window-shopping, that is.