Speech material: Heartfelt and funny

Wedding speech material for you to adapt, for when you want to say something sincere AND light-hearted

By the chief bridesmaid

You may think that you've heard all that needs to be said, but I haven't even started yet. Don't despair, though. I am not the stereotypical woman you men think can talk forever on any subject, although weddings have become something of a speciality of mine over the last 12 months!

I would just like to take this opportunity to say a heartfelt thank you to Abi for asking me to be her chief bridesmaid. I have never felt prouder in my life than today, as I watched my little brat of a sister make a miraculous transition into this beautiful, radiant woman. And there were times when we all thought that this would never happen -- we couldn't believe that anyone would ever take her on, what with her history! Of course, I mean her history of accidents. Abi is the only person I know who, on the most important day of her life, manages to spill hot tea on her foot, trip up the stairs, slip in the bathroom, fall over her slippers and then put the heel of her shoe through the hem of her petticoat. And all that in the course of one morning. Thankfully these were all minor mishaps and she has got through the day in one piece. Sadly, the same cannot be said for the cat...My only word of advise to you, Matt, is to make sure that you are both well insured -- you may need it.

We have all heard the lovely compliments paid to the bridesmaids, and I thank Robert (the best man) on their behalf. I would like to return to compliment and say how handsome the groomsmen look in their morning suits. However, I am amazed that Tony (the chief usher) is wearing a matching outfit, as I did have to explain to him that it was a morning suit, not a mourning suit, and we were going to celebrate Matt and Abi's wedding, not bury them. Still, it is wonderful to see that he has gone to so much trouble to look good, with a new haircut, close shave, and nose and ears hair free -- it didn't work though, did it? Sorry, Tony -- just joking! I think you look absolutely gorgeous.

Anyways, as one in the know, having experienced the joys of marriage for the last two years, I would like to give Matt and Abi some genuine advice and perhaps words of comfort for the years to come. Marriage is a great university. It teaches you patience, consideration, understanding...and all sorts of rubbish you wouldn't need if you'd stayed single! So let us raise our glasses once again -- and I'm sure Mum will have no objections to that -- and wish Matt and Abi everything that they could possibly desire for their future together.