Short, stand-alone toasts

Toasts like these can be used in place of longer speeches and/or at a rehearsal dinner...

Formidable team

'Ladies and Gentlemen, thanks very much for indulging me for a few moments. As you may be aware, the bride and groom didn't want to have a series of long speeches. I can't tell you how happy I felt when I heard that. I would, however, like to thank the groom for his kind words.

'It's only left to me, then, to toast the bride and groom. But before I do, I'd like to take this opportunity, on behalf of friends and family gathered here today, to wish this fantastic couple all the happiness in the world. Graham and Julie really are smashing people as individuals and together they make a truly formidable team. The two of them are tighter than the spring that keeps Graham's wallet shut...

'So, without further delay, please be upstanding, raise your glasses and toast the bride and groom - the bride and groom!'

Nature's strongest force

'Unaccustomed as I am to public speaking, it gives me great pleasure to stand before you today - out of all of Darren and Sarah's nearest and dearest - with the supreme honour of being their best man.

'When Darren asked me to be his best man, he told me categorically that he didn't expect me to make a long speech. He knows how embarrassed and nervous I get talking to myself in the mirror, let alone standing up in front of the most important people in his and Teresa's lives.

'However, now I'm here, I would like to make a couple of observations. The first is that Darren, in all the time that I have known him, has never looked forward to or been more excited about a day as he has been about today -- even when Wrexham reached the third round of the DAF Trucks Trophy in the 1986/7 season.

'The two of them look dazzling today, especially the way the lights are shining off Darren's bald patch. It looks like he's polished it especially. And he's worn a suit, which I know for a fact he hasn't done since the stag do... or rather, the court appearance soon after it.

'Anyway, without further delay: the bride and groom.'