Sample material: Marriage is like…

Wedding speech material for you to adapt, for when you want to give advice about maintaining marital bliss

By the father of the bride

‘Marriage is like an Ordnance Survey map: although sometimes difficult to navigate, you’d be lost without it.’

‘Marriage to me is like a log fire. When you feel cold it heats you up, it puts warmth in your heart and a glow on your cheeks.’

‘On my Silver wedding anniversary it occurred to me - a happily married homeowner - that marriage is much like a mortgage. Expensive and stressful, initially you may have to deny yourself life’s luxuries to make it work. But after twenty-five years, it all pays off and you’ve got something you can truly call your own.’

‘Marriage is like a pair of old slippers, comfortable and familiar.’

‘Marriage is like a sketchbook whose pages get filled up over the years. On your wedding day you begin on a blank sheet of paper with your pencil poised to create true beauty.’

By the groom 

‘A wise man once told me that marriage can be compared to an umbrella. When the weather’s fair, it’s easy to forget you need it. But when it pours with rain, you’ll be glad of the shelter from the storm.’

‘My uncle Derek used to say to me that marriage is much like digging a hole. The more you put in, the more you’ll get out. I checked with Auntie Jean though, and apparently he’s never even been near the garden centre, let alone picked up a spade.’

By the best man

‘Marriage for men is much like a game of football. With skill and stamina you can last the distance. But dirty tackle will almost always get you sent off for an early bath!’

‘My marriage often seems like an action movie. The plot’s is an emotional rollercoaster but, as the hapless hero, I always end up in the arms of the beautiful woman.’

‘A good marriage is like a riding a unicycle. It’s a difficult feat to get the balance right, but it gets easier with practice and you’ll be the envy of all your friends...’ 

’Marriage is like buying a new pair of trousers. A snug fit is usually best, but a bit of give often helps.’

By the bride

‘When Ian and I got engaged, I couldn’t help but pay attention to all the horror stories about failed marriages and the scarily high divorce statistics. Feeling decidedly shaky, I asked my mum for some advice. She said to me that marriage is like a work of art. With dedication, passion, patience and conviction you can create something truly priceless. Today is just the beginning of our journey together, and I’m honoured to have you all here on the first day that Ian and I start work on our masterpiece.’

By the chief bridesmaid

‘A good marriage is like a good novel. It has you hooked from day one, is awe-inspiring, impossible to put down and you never want it to end.’

‘A loving marriage is much like a fingerprint. It identifies who you are and stays with you forever.’

‘Marriage is like a cocktail; at its best it can leave you feeling like dancing in the street and singing from the rooftops. Sometimes it comes with fireworks, and sometimes with a paper umbrella. Hmmm.’