Sample material: When the chips are down…

Wedding speech material for you to adapt, for when you’ve got advice on how to get through the bad times

For the father of the bride

‘There are a few things I think you should know about Robert, Michelle. There will be times when she’ll flip her lid and shout at you for no reason, hitting you over the head with her slippers. There will be times when she’ll refuse to get out of bed for hours on end. On occasions like these there is only one cure. It comes wrapped in shiny paper, and it’s called chocolate.’

For the best man

‘As you embark on the road to wedded bliss, here’s some advice on how to avoid the potholes. Never say, “You’re right, your bum does look big in that.”’ Try not to laugh as Walter’s scalp becomes more and more visible. Pre-empt heated driving arguments by keeping an A to Z in the car; and Jenny, understand that if Walter staggers to bed at 3am singing “I’m too sexy”, it’s bound to be my fault...’

For the chief bridesmaid

‘Today is about celebrating the love between Erica and Gary. Apart from the mystery of how she picked up that bruise on her hen night, there are no secrets between them. But in time there will inevitably be lows as well as highs, and when these darker times happen, it’s important to focus on the reason you’re together. Whenever things get tough, remember today, and everything that brought you to this moment.’