Online ShopFashion etiquette for bridesmaids
Most of us are honoured to be asked to be a bridesmaid for a friend or relative, but however close you are to the bride it’s not always plain sailing, especially when it comes to choosing what you will wear.
While there are no hard-and-fast rules about bridesmaids’ outfits, the bottom line is that it is the bride’s day and it is likely that she will have some pretty clear ideas on the subject. So, how do you keep her happy and still get your point across?
Get involved
If you are worried that the bride might dress you like a meringue, get involved in the process from the outset. This doesn’t mean forcing your ideas on her, but why not suggest a girls’ night in with some wine and wedding magazines, and gently let her know what delights (and horrifies) you?
If there are to be several of you, arrange a shopping day early on (with the bride of course!) and try on a wide range of outfits. It will soon become clear what does and doesn’t work for you all. If one bridesmaid lives a long way away, email or SMS her pictures of different styles and get her opinion.
Another alternative you could suggest to the bride if you all live a long way apart is that she provides the material and you have dresses made in the same fabric, but different styles, which is actually the way bridesmaids’ outfits were traditionally made.
Be constructive
Think carefully about any objections before voicing them to the bride, and consider whether they are actually valid.
For example, a lifelong aversion to peach taffeta is really not a good enough reason to upset the bride. On the other hand, if you are allergic to a certain fabric it’s reasonable that you avoid an outfit that is going to cause you discomfort.
Equally, just because you live in trainers it doesn’t mean you should complain at having to sport stilettos for the day. However, if you really hate your legs but the bride wants you in a mini skirt, then it’s worth trying to reach some compromise.
Who’s paying?
Traditionally the bride doesn’t have to pay for bridesmaids’ dresses, but in practice many do. Whatever is the case, it still makes sense for choosing to be a collaborative process.
According to Pronuptia, what often happens is that the maid of honour will pay for her own dress, while the bride will pay for the younger bridesmaid’s outfits. Occasionally parents will pay for a younger attendant’s dress, but this is less common.
However, although the bride pays for the dresses, the bridesmaids usually get to keep them once the wedding is over. “It’s like a token -- a thank you for helping the bride on the day,” Hannah of Pronuptia, Hendon, told Confetti. “If the bridesmaids love the dress, they usually keep it and can use it for other functions. That’s why most bridesmaids try to choose a dress that’s versatile. Normally, the bridesmaids and the bride make the choice together.”
