Engagement dilemmas – solved

Nothing in life is straightforward, even getting engaged. If you’ve got questions about engagement etiquette, the chances are you’re not alone. These FAQs should help iron out any hitches…

Should a woman ever propose?

Tradition has it that ladies can propose on 29 February each Leap Year, a custom that originated several hundred years ago, when the day was considered legally 'invalid'. Conventions were turned on their head and women could take advantage of the opportunity to propose. Nowadays, women aren’t even waiting for a Leap Year! If you think you and your man are set for life, there’s no reason why you shouldn’t pop the question!
For some great examples of girl power, take a look at our real-life engagement stories.

What if you hate the engagement ring?

If the man has a ring to offer at the proposal, it will often be a family ring, perhaps belonging to his grandmother or mother. In these circumstances, it would be difficult to refuse it, but you could sensitively broach the subject of perhaps having the stones re-set. If he's bought the ring recently, chances are it'll be fairly easy to swap for another. In either scenario, be honest, but gently…  
However, prevention is better than cure, so why not point him in the direction of our rings buying guide.

Can you propose without the ring?

Up to you. Historically, the man would get down on bended knee and whip out a few rocks on a band of gold. Nowadays, the couple is more likely to choose the ring together. A ring pull from a can will do at the crucial moment! You may feel that a proposal isn't a proposal without a ring to hand over, in which case you need to get out there and buy one.
Here are some sneaky ways to work it out the size of your girl’s third finger:

• Get one of her best gal pals to entice her to try one of her rings and to pass on comments about whether it fits, is too big, etc.
• Is she a deep sleeper? Get a length of string and wind it once around her ring finger, marking it with a pen.
• ‘Borrow' a ring you know she wears on her ring finger and sneak off to the jewellers. Don't forget that if you do get a ring ahead of time and it's not the perfect fit, you can always get it altered.

For more tips, see also our guide to lads’ proposing, Go on – ask her.

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