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15 top tips to make sure your best man’s speech goes as smoothly as possible from the moment you’re on your feet…

Start right

Don’t try to begin your speech when there are lots of distractions. Wait until the audience has stopped applauding the previous speaker, the tables have been cleared and the coffee poured, so that you have everyone’s undivided attention.

Rambling prohibited

Timing is crucial when it comes to speeches. However brilliant yours is, and however good a speaker you are, five minutes is more than enough. People enjoy listening to speeches, true, but they want to get on with talking and dancing too, so keep it short. Rambling speeches are a mistake. Make sure yours has a firm beginning, middle and end. Steer clear of shaggy dog stories in favour of short, pithy jokes and asides. When it comes to speeches, less is definitely more.

Eye to eye

Make eye contact when you’re making your speech – just not with everyone at once! Speak as if you were talking to one person and focus on them. You can look around the room if you want to, but focus on one person at a time. The trick is to imagine that you’re simply chatting to someone.

Don’t look down

Even if you decide to learn your speech off by heart, you will need to have some notes to refer to in case your mind goes blank in the heat of the moment. However, don’t make your speech hiding behind a quivering piece of paper or constantly staring downwards. Look down for a moment, look up and speak. Get into a rhythm of doing this throughout your speech.

No mumbling

When people get nervous, they tend to swallow their words; this can render a beautifully written speech nearly inaudible. You don’t want to deliver your speech only to find that no one could actually hear what you were saying, so check that you’re audible by arranging beforehand for someone at the back of the room to signal when your voice isn’t carrying.

Breath taking

Another way to combat the mumbling menace is by breathing properly. Take deep, rhythmic breaths. This will pump oxygen into your blood and keep your brain sharp and alert.

Set the pace

Gabbling is another thing people tend to do when they’re nervous. To stop yourself talking too fast, write the word ‘pause’ at intervals through your notes or, if you are using cue cards, insert blank ones that will automatically cause you to slow down. If you do lose your place, it’s best just to make a joke of it.

Move on swiftly

Pause briefly after you make a joke to give people a chance to laugh, but keep jokes and anecdotes short so that if one doesn’t work you can move on quickly to the next. If your joke dies, don’t despair. Turn the situation to your advantage by inserting a quip such as, ‘Only me on that one then’ Or look round at an imaginary assistant and say: ‘Start the car!’ ‘Rescue lines’ like these can earn you a chuckle from a momentarily awkward silence.

Keep smiling

Being best man and making a speech is supposed to be fun – so make sure you don’t look utterly miserable when you’re doing it. Smile! Think of something that makes you laugh before you start speaking to get yourself into the fun mood. Body language is important too, so adopt a relaxed posture – no crossed arms or fidgeting – before you begin.

Stage fright

It’s only natural to be nervous. If you find that you’re really scared when you begin, don’t panic. Make a joke out of it instead. Lines like ‘This speech is brought to you in association with Imodium’ or ‘I was intending to speak, but my tongue seems to be welded to the roof of my mouth’ should raise a laugh and will help to get the audience on your side. One completely bald best man started off on a high note by remarking: ‘As you can see, I’ve been so worried about making this speech, I’ve been tearing my hair out.’ There’s no shame in admitting you’re a wee bit scared.

Start strongly

Opening lines are important, because they grab the audience’s attention and get you off to a good start. Something like: ‘Ladies and gentlemen, they say speeches are meant to be short and sweet, so thank you and good night,’ should help you to begin in style.

All in the mind

Instead of seeing your speech as a formal ordeal, think of it as being a conversation between you and a lot of people you know and really like, or as a way of wishing two good friends well. Thinking positively about your speech will help you to deliver it with confidence and make the task seem less intimidating.

To help calm your nerves beforehand, imagine your speech being over and everyone applauding. Imagine how you’ll feel when you can take a deep breath and relax, knowing that the moment is over and you can now really enjoy the rest of the evening. Visualising everything going well will help to give you confidence.

They’re on your side

Remember that weddings are happy occasions and all the guests want to see everything go well, including your speech. The audience is on your side, they’re all rooting for you, so make the most of it and use their goodwill to boost your confidence.

Give it meaning

Think about the meaning of your speech while you’re making it. Concentrating on the message you want to convey and the meaning behind your words will help you to make your delivery more expressive, rather than just reciting your notes.

Round it off

End your speech with a toast. This will give it a focus and provide something to work towards. After you make your toast, you can sit down when everyone else sits down, signifying a definite end to your speech.