Sample speech: For when you’re standing in for the best man

A wedding speech for you to adapt, if you’ve had to step into the best man’s shoes at the last moment

On behalf of the bridesmaids, I’d like to thank you, Ronald, for those kind words. As you can see, there’s been a change to the cast as advertised. After the success of Ron’s stag night, his best man, John Greene, whom many of us may know by reputation, if not personality, has had to leave the country, and he’s asked me to step in and keep Ron company at the altar while he lies low in Brazil. Honestly, though, I know John was really looking forward to Ron’s wedding – something to do with getting the competition married off, I think – and he’s devastated that he’s unable to be here today, especially with all these lovely bridesmaids around. I’ve actually received a telegram from him. It says, ‘Phil, stop. No, seriously, stop!’ I’ve also got some messages for the bride and groom from other absent friends and relatives.

When I was asking around about the true meaning and importance of weddings, one woman told me something rather interesting. She said, ‘Women like the simple things in life, men.’ Suddenly, the secret of Ron’s attractiveness to Julia became clear. His idea of complexity is ordering a round in a pub with more than two different kinds of beer on tap.

I wish Ron and Julia much luck, although, I think she’ll be needing it more, and Ron’s probably used up all his luck allowance just finding such a wonderful person to agree to be his wife. Ladies and gentlemen, please be upstanding for the bride and groom.