Make friends and win influence with your mother-in-law

Here’s how to manage your relationship with the other most important woman in his life...

Communication is key

Most counselling techniques recommended improving communication to resolve issues. The best approach is to try and deal with an issue before it gets to a stage of hostility. This can be done in an open and non-aggressive way and the ability of being able to laugh at oneself will go a long way in breaking the ice.

Give credit

What most of us want is appreciation and respect. Some of her ideas may seem somewhat old-fashioned to you, but give your mother-in-law some credit for wisdom acquired with experience. By calling her occasionally to ask her advice or help with something in which she has expertise or experience, should help to make her feel valued and included.

Be flexible

Before reaching deep levels of resentment, ask yourself how much it really matters to you and whether it is you that need to do a bit of soul searching. Look within to find out whether your objections are reasonable, or perhaps is it you wanting to assert your authority over hers.

Common bond

The one common bond that you and your mother-in-law have is that you both have love for the same man. Instead of being jealous, learn to share the things about him that are endearing and perhaps some of his habits that you both find infuriating. Ask her to talk about his childhood or go through old photograph albums. While no one expects you to love her like your own mum, in time you may evolve into mutual well-wishers and perhaps even good friends.

Look ahead

Lastly, when you’re finding the going a little tough, remind yourself of what it might feel like being in her shoes and that some day in the distant future, it might be your turn to be on the receiving end!

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