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Ask Kate: Bridesmaid Dilemma

February 8, 2013

Kate Thompson has been offering heart-felt advice and sparklingly different wedding inspiration for ten years. She is married with two children, and often features in the national press. With her warm and caring nature and off-beat sense of humour, she'll answer every question with knowledgable insight and understanding to help and inspire or simply restore your peace of mind.


I have always dreamt of having my two best friends , who are the same age as me, as my bridesmaids.  I also plan to ask my partner’s little sister, who is under 10. My sister, who is much older than I am, has hinted that her dress had better be a decent one… My sister and I aren’t that close, but I was her bridesmaid over ten years ago. Should I ask her? I do not want to hurt her feelings.


This is such a common question and one that only you can answer. If you feel that it would make her happy to be asked to be your bridesmaid and she could be upset if you don’t ask her then it could be a lovely thing you do to have her in your bridal party.  If you think she wouldn’t mind either way but is just expecting to be asked since she asked you, then it’s worth sitting down to discuss it with her. Perhaps ask your mum first, or a mutual friend or relative whether she’s said anything about hoping to be asked. It is your wedding and it’s your choice so if you really would rather she was not a bridesmaid then perhaps you could offer her another role instead such as ‘ best woman’ or female usher for a modern twist or ask her to do a reading during your ceremony. As she’s already married she might be able to offer lots of valuable help so it could be in your interests to ask her to be your matron of honour and bring you closer as sisters. Hope that helps!

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