Ask Kate: Family feuds

April 27, 2013

Kate Thompson has been offering heart-felt advice and sparklingly different wedding inspiration for ten years. She is married with two children, and often features in the national press. With her warm and caring nature and off-beat sense of humour, she'll answer every question with knowledgable insight and understanding to help and inspire or simply restore your peace of mind.

Q.

Me and my fiance are having a low key wedding mainly due to the fact I have a long-term illness, however most of my fiance’s family are threatening not to attend any part of it because they don’t believe in long term illnesses and think I should try harder. My fiance wants them to be there but I am not that keen and neither are my side of the family due to this feud! What do I do?

A.

I’m so sorry to hear that you are unwell and even more sorry to hear that your fiance’s family are unable to be supportive, particularly with your wedding day approaching. It sounds as though your fiance’s parents are not able to empathise with you and their attitude must be quite hurtful.  I do think it’s important to clear the air before you get married if possible. Perhaps they are concerned that your fiance will become your carer in the long-term. It might be best for your fiance to reassure them that he is marrying you because he loves you and is able to support you through your illness, and to further explain your situation so they can understand what you are going through and how you both would like their support. Try not to get your parents involved, focus instead on getting your fiance’s family to support your forthcoming marriage. Once they can do that, they will be more inclined to want to be at the wedding and to get on with you and your family.

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