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Ask Kate: How do I decline offers from family I don’t want?

April 27, 2013

Kate Thompson has been offering heart-felt advice and sparklingly different wedding inspiration for ten years. She is married with two children, and often features in the national press. With her warm and caring nature and off-beat sense of humour, she'll answer every question with knowledgable insight and understanding to help and inspire or simply restore your peace of mind.


Since getting engaged I have come across a lot of people (family and strangers) who either grimace at my chosen colour scheme (hot pink and orange) or try and push things on me such as young family members singing at the church (which is neither needed or wanted). How do I go about politely declining such ideas and defending my frankly awesome colour scheme?


Weddings can bring out the best and the very worst in people! While I think it’s wonderful that your family are offering their help and not holding back their very candid opinions on your awesome colour scheme, I know how frustrating it can be! It’s important to make it clear to everyone that, while you appreciate their offers, you do have your own ideas.

A  family wedding is a wonderful opportunity to get all your nearest and dearest together in one place and close family may be excited at the prospect of being able to fulfill a lifelong dream of singing a solo at a wedding, being  a  bridesmaid for the first time or having their child as a flower girl/page boy. Consider all their offers carefully before declining as it can be very lovely to include family and close friends in special ways on such an important occasion. If you really do not want their help then tell them as soon as you can and as gently as possible, making sure you thank them and tell them you appreciate their kind offers.

Your hot pink and orange colour scheme does sound awesome! It’s your wedding, you’re hosting it and it is your choice. Just tell them with a smile and ignore the grimaces! We all have our own ideas on style. I am sure your wedding will look amazing.

Check out the gorgeous pink style in A Fuchsia Pink Wedding and the stunning orange style in An Orange and Ivory Wedding – do not miss the shoes!  Bright Ideas for Colourful Weddings is worth a look too.

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