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Ask Kate: How Do I Say No Children?

August 6, 2013

Kate Thompson has been offering heart-felt advice and sparklingly different wedding inspiration for ten years. She is married with two children, and often features in the national press. With her warm and caring nature and off-beat sense of humour, she'll answer every question with knowledgable insight and understanding to help and inspire or simply restore your peace of mind.


A close friend who I dearly want at my wedding has a baby who will be 18 months when we get married. It’s only a small wedding and I don’t really want to have any children there. How do I tell my friend to leave her child at home without offending her?


Unfortunately this is a very common problem, but it’s totally acceptable for you not to want to have children at your wedding.

1. Explain to her that after a lot of agonising you have decided no to have children at your wedding. It was a hard decision to make and you hope she understands. You really feel that your wedding is an ‘adult only’ occasion.

2. You could try explaining to her that if she can, she should try to have a day off and let her hair down. You want her to come to your wedding so offer to  help her find a babysitter. Unless she’s breast-feeding she should understand and will hopefully be able to ask her parents to help out, even if just for the evening reception.

Most people won’t be offended if you don’t invite their children but it’s worth considering that friends or family with babies may not be able to come unless they bring their baby, particularly if they are still breastfeeding or don’t have trusted family close enough by to babysit.  Hope that helps.

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