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Ask Kate: Involving our children

July 15, 2012

Kate Thompson has been offering heart-felt advice and sparklingly different wedding inspiration for ten years. She is married with two children, and often features in the national press. With her warm and caring nature and off-beat sense of humour, she'll answer every question with knowledgable insight and understanding to help and inspire or simply restore your peace of mind.


We’ve both got kids from our previous marriages. Do you think they should get involved in the wedding?



What to do about the children is one of the biggest issues facing couples who are remarrying after divorce. Most children like to be involved and leaving them out may give the message that they are not part of this new relationship. The whole process can be very confusing to children and it helps to talk things through as much as possible, keeping an open mind about their feelings. If the children are older, they may prefer to make up their own minds. Much will probably also depend on relationships with ex-partners and stepchildren-to-be. If they want to be involved then let them be a flower girl/bridesmaid or page boy/usher, an older son could even be a best man. They could do a lovely reading or even sing during the ceremony.

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