Ask Kate: Maid of honour duties

December 24, 2012

Kate Thompson has been offering heart-felt advice and sparklingly different wedding inspiration for ten years. She is married with two children, and often features in the national press. With her warm and caring nature and off-beat sense of humour, she'll answer every question with knowledgable insight and understanding to help and inspire or simply restore your peace of mind.

Q.

I’ve been asked to be a maid of honour and I’ve read that one of my duties is to organise the hen night. She is not a traditional girl – she likes things like rocky, folky music, vintage stuff, easy going, not girly girly stuff and I am trying to think of ideas. I want something which won’t be too expensive (I thought of a gig, but many will be extortionate) but want to have a good time. No veils and L plates for her (but she must have *something* to give her some attention.) Any ideas?

A.

It’s wonderful to be asked to be Maid of Honour (or Chief Bridesmaid) and it’s lovely to be so involved in the wedding of someone special to you. As Maid of Honour (or Matron of Honour if you are married), your role is to support the bride throughout the wedding planning, as much as she needs. She may ask you to help her choose a wedding dress, have some input into choosing bridesmaids dresses and help her organise her hen night.

The hen night should be the bride’s choice so please don’t worry about what to organise, it’s not meant to be a surprise and the best hen nights are the ones organised by the bride and the maid of honour so the pressure’s off! The most you’ll have to do is help her research places and ideas and then ask her for all the names and contact details of those she wants to invite and then organise sending out invitations.

There are so many hen night ideas to put to her – from burlesque classes and shows to pole dance classes to clubs and restaurants, pub crawls, pamper days and weekends away. She might like the idea of a festival hen night and if her wedding is in late summer or early autumn then this could be ideal with timings. If money is an issue then instead of buying tickets to an acual festival, consider creating your own mini festival of music and fun – in a field or a hired cottage in the country.

Not every bride-to-be wants L plates, there are plenty of other cool options to make her hen night a fun and memorable occasion. I love this great hen night drinking game and the personalised shot glass for her to keep as a momento of her hen night.

You’ll find more information on your role in our Bridesmaids pages. Check out The Chief Bridesmaid’s Role which has a great countdown to help you know when she may need your help.

Hope that helps! Have a wonderful twinkly Christmas!

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