August 8, 2012
Kate Thompson has been offering heart-felt advice and sparklingly different wedding inspiration for ten years. She is married with two children, and often features in the national press. With her warm and caring nature and off-beat sense of humour, she'll answer every question with knowledgable insight and understanding to help and inspire or simply restore your peace of mind.
All the male members of our wedding party will be wearing the same hired suits apart from the groom who is wearing a different jacket.
My father was fine about wearing a hired suit so we put the deposits down. Eventually my dad went to get measured up. We agreed that he didn’t have to wear a cravat like the others but could wear a tie.
Three weeks later, my mum now tells me that they have gone out bought my dad a suit as he thinks that he was railroaded into the hired suit and that as the bridegroom is looking different – as the father of the bride he should be able to too.
This now means that I do not have anyone from my family wearing a dress suit and my fiance has seven people form his side who are! As you can imagine, I am extremely upset about this, especially since the way my mum described what he has brought makes the suit sound no different from what we have chosen!
What should I do? Im so upset with my father!
Well you’re certainly right to want to nip this in the bud and stop it spiralling out of control. You don’t want an atmosphere on the wedding day, especially when it comes down to something like your dad’s suit.
First of all, from your point of view I can fully understand how frustrating it must seem. You’ve gone out of your way to make everything look right and now your dad has spoilt your plans. However, look at it from your dad’s point of view. For every dad, walking his little girl down the aisle on her wedding day is actually one of the most important days in his life not to say the proudest. His daughter and his wife are excited about their new outfits which they’ve bought specially for a their special part in this important day. Suddenly dad finds he is expected to wear a second hand suit, which has probably been worn by dozens of men before him. It’s not an uncommon feeling for fathers of the bride to feel like this and it’s a story I have heard many times. Of course, not all men feel this way but it does seem to be a re-occurring issue with fathers of the bride.
Whatever happens, don’t let the situation between you and your dad get out of proportion. You say that the suit he has bought sounds similar to the hire suit anyway and he was going to wear a tie not a cravat so perhaps he won’t look very different to how you had imagined. Have a chat with your dad, tell him you are upset that he couldn’t tell you how he felt but your only concern is that he is there to walk you down the aisle on your wedding day. You also need to reassure your fiancé that this isn’t a personal snub and falling out with your dad won’t help you but will only add to the worry.
Why not suggest that all the men in the wedding party have the same buttonholes so that they are distinguishable from the other guests. Remember, he’s your dad and you really won’t notice what he is wearing on the day, and nether will anyone else, after all – all eyes will be on the