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Ask Kate: Top table dilemma

August 8, 2012

Kate Thompson has been offering heart-felt advice and sparklingly different wedding inspiration for ten years. She is married with two children, and often features in the national press. With her warm and caring nature and off-beat sense of humour, she'll answer every question with knowledgable insight and understanding to help and inspire or simply restore your peace of mind.


My dad passed away seven years ago and my grandpa will be giving me away. He’s in his eighties and doesn’t feel comfortable about making a speech.

I’m wondering whether to ask my uncle to make the speech instead. My mum re-married three years ago and I don’t know how to arrange the top table.

Please help!


The traditional top table can be difficult to
organise and the key is to do whatever makes you happy and your family feel comfortable.

You can have as many people (or as few!) on the table as you like and you could have a round table if you think this will work better.

As well as the bride and groom, I would include your grandpa, grandma, mum, step dad, auntie, uncle and the groom’s parents and best man. Instead of sticking to tradition, just organise these people in an order that you think will work best.

If you have any other spaces, you could include the bridesmaids but they will happily sit on another table next to the top table.

Kate x

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