Ask Kate: Who should take on the Father of the Bride role?

August 23, 2012

Kate Thompson has been offering heart-felt advice and sparklingly different wedding inspiration for ten years. She is married with two children, and often features in the national press. With her warm and caring nature and off-beat sense of humour, she'll answer every question with knowledgable insight and understanding to help and inspire or simply restore your peace of mind.

Q.

I have no father to feature in my wedding so I am struggling to decide who the invitations should be from, who to walk me down the aisle and who to feature on the top table. My mum re-married and she wants him to be involved but I dont get on well with my step-father so dont want him to be involved that much. I’m close to my grandpa, younger half brother and uncle but dont want to upset my mum by choosing one of them instead. HELP!

A.

I think it’s important to discuss this with your mum if you are concerned about upsetting her. She will most likely be glad you feel you can come to her and will respect your honesty. The invitations could come from you and your fiance, they don’t have to come from your parents and these days most couples host their own weddings. Your mum will probably want to have her husband at the top table but that doesn’t mean he has to make a speech or walk you down the aisle. You don’t have to have a man in your life give you away – you cold ask your mum if you wanted to. I’m sure she would be honoured to be asked. I suggest sharing all the traditional Father of the Bride roles between all the people you have mentioned – asking your mum or grandpa to give you away, having your step father sit at the top table for your mum and asking either your mum, grandpa or brother if they would like to make a speech. They could even do it together! I am sorry that your father won’t be there, I’m sure he’d be so proud. I do wish you a very long and happy marriage.

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