Ask Kate: Does mother know best?

September 13, 2012

Kate Thompson has been offering heart-felt advice and sparklingly different wedding inspiration for ten years. She is married with two children, and often features in the national press. With her warm and caring nature and off-beat sense of humour, she'll answer every question with knowledgable insight and understanding to help and inspire or simply restore your peace of mind.

Q.

The reception venue we have is beautiful outside, but inside is too small with a small dance floor and it is not wooden. Her parents really want the reception here, but she feels the same as me and doesn’t want to hurt their feelings. What can we do? Please help.

A.

Is there some compromise you can come to with your fiancee’s parents whereby you have the reception at this venue but also have a marquee outside for dancing perhaps? If you’re hosting the wedding yourselves and paying for the majority of it too then you really should feel able to make the decisions. If yours fiance’s parents are hosting the wedding in their names or paying for it then I think it’s reasonable to try to reach some half-way house with this. Your fiancee should bring this up with her parents as she knows them better than you do and together you’ll need to discuss the fact that you and she feel that the venue isn’t right because of the size and the lack of dance floor. If you are diplomatic and appreciative of all their help then I don’t see that it will hurt their feelings. If it’s easier for your fiancee to approach just her mother initially to discuss it then fine but she should do this as soon as possible before any money is put down on a deposit as you’ll lose this if you change your mind at the last minute. Try to reach a compromise and enquire about other reception rooms at the venue or the possibility of putting up a marquee outside too. If you haven’t yet booked the venue then find an alternative and present it to your fiancee’s parents as the solution.

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