Emma's answers to Is it too late to find my dad?

Question

My parents divorced when I was five years old and I have had no contact at all with my father since. In fact, apart from one or two birthday cards from my grandparents in my teenage years,I haven't even heard from my grandparents, aunts or uncles. I don't know much about the circumstances of my parents divorce. My mum has never spoken about the reasons behind the breakup, and whenever she mentions my father it's always in a positive light. Should I make contact with my father to inform him that his only (as far as I know) child is getting married? I'm not sure where he is anymore, or the rest of the family, and I'm unsure as to what I should do.

Answer

I think you have to start by asking your self a few questions.
1. Do you really want to see him again anyway, without even thinking about the wedding? If the answer to this is yes then you probably should contact him, give you both a chance to build bridges before the big day. And give your mum a chance to get used to it.
2. Are you thinking that if you see him now he'll give you away on the day? Your mum could do this, and you must be prepared for the fact that there is a risk he might not want to be involved in the wedding.
3. If you do decide to meet him you have to be prepared for him not wanting to be found. He might have made a new life and have a new family who don't know about you.
4. Weddings are very emotional occasions and you have to think carefully.
5. I think that you should really discuss these feelings with your mum as this does involve her as well.

If you do decide to look for your dad - I wish you all the very best of luck.

Emma x