Emma's answers to Religion and weddings

Question

My husband-to-be is is Catholic and I'm not. The priest wont marry us unless I take instruction and become a Catholic, which I'm not willing to do, so the only alternative is for us to have a civil wedding or marry in a Church of England church. My fiance doesn't want a civil wedding, so that leaves the church. I have a lovely church in mind but I am not a member of that parish and I haven't attended my own parish for a number of years.

Answer

To my knowledge, no priest will insist on your becoming a Roman Catholic in order to marry one. What IS required in order to be married in the Catholic Church (and increasingly, in most other churches) is some kind of pre-marital instruction. This is not usually to do with you becoming Catholic, but rather so that you understand the full implications of the RC ceremony.

Finally, part of the Catholic Marriage Rite, includes promising to raise your children in the Catholic faith, so the priest will want to explain to you, as a non-Catholic, exactly what that means.

There may be one other thing that is causing the complication here - whether you have you been baptised. To my knowledge, in order for two people to marry in a Catholic church, they must both have been baptised. You could have been baptised in any other Christian church, but you will need to PROVE THIS with a copy of your baptismal (christening) certificate, which you can get from the church where it was performed, or from your parents if they have a copy still. If you have not been christened, it's a bit more tricky and this may lead a priest to suggest that you start the process of becoming a Catholic, in order to be baptised, in order to be married there.

What you should remember is that priests are not there to make your life difficult, but there are certain rules they must abide by and it may be that they simply cannot allow you to do what you want to do.

Discuss the situation in depth with your fiance and the priest. I'm sure that once the priest hears how important it is for your fiance to marry in Catholic Church, and once you have made a decision about whether or not to take Catholic instruction, you will be able to come to the right decision together.

Emma x