Emma's answers to Civil ceremony with religious content

Question

We're trying to decide between a religous and civil ceremony. I was brought up in a religious family but do not have a strong belief, nor does my partner. We like the tradition and ceremony of a standard wedding but do not want to be hypocritical. We thought about having a civil ceremony but including some hymns and/or readings that mean a lot to us. However my cousin has told me that religious hymns and reading are not allowed at a civil service - is this really true?

Answer

Your cousin is quite correct. A civil marriage must be totally secular and can have no religious content whatsoever. Neither must the building have any religious connections either past or present. Your registrar will need to agree on your choice of music and readings beforehand but they do tend to be quite strict and often even the most tenuous religious connection is rejected. Some registrars won't even allow candles as they feel they have a religious connotation.

Having said this, the beauty of a civil ceremony is that you can personalise it (subject to approval) and choose readings, poems or music, which have a special meaning for you both. You may even decide to write your own vows, in
addition to the statutory words that legally bind you as husband and wife.

Although there is nothing in law to prevent you from including your own vows, some registrars have fixed views about what they will and will not permit. If your registrar will not allow you much freedom, you can ask to have another registrar appointed (from the same register office) who may be more flexible, but don't leave it until the last minute. In all cases, your
registrar has the last word!

Emma x