Emma's answers to Inviting my ex-husband

Question

I have a six year old daughter from my first marriage and I don't know whether to ask her father to my wedding. I know he would like to see her as a bridesmaid and it would be a good way of showing our daughter that we all get on. He recently got married again, but his new wife has made relations between us difficult. He does not feel free to spend the same amount of time with our daughter as he used to. I would not be happy about his new wife coming to my wedding but do you think it would help to reassure my daughter?

Answer

I totally agree with you that this is a very special period in your daughters life where building a strong bond with her father is very important.

However this doesn't mean that you should have to invite your ex-husband and his new wife to your wedding, especially if you don't get on! This is going to be such a special and wonderful day for you, your partner and your daughter and if you're not happy sharing this with your ex and his wife there is no reason why you should. It might be nice for you to explain to your daughter that even though her daddy and step mum won't be with you he is still a very important part of her life and will always be there for her. To be honest I'm sure that with all the excitement and fuss she'll receive on the day she won't really have time to reflect on her fathers absence.

As a compromise, if you're having an evening party, perhaps you could just invite them to that so they have the opportunity to come along and to see your daughter as a bridesmaid.

On the other hand, if you feel comfortable about them being at the entire wedding, it's obviously completely up to you. Just don't feel like you 'should'.

Emma x