According to the rules of etiquette, it could be considered rude to provide a list of items that you would like your guest to give you as a wedding present, as this could be construed as their invitation being dependent upon them providing a gift.
These days however it has become common place to send out wedding invitations with a small, discreet card listing details of your chosen online gift list. For many guests these days a gift list is expected, and makes their lives easier knowing what you would like to receive.
If you’ve been living with your fiancé before tying the knot then chances are you probably already have everything you need for your home together. You won’t need a toaster or cutlery set from a traditional gift list so what else can you do instead?
Here are some ideas for you to consider:
Online wedding fund gift list
If you’d like to send your guests details of an organised bespoke gift list from which you could choose from a garden makeover to a holiday or a variety of gifts from a range of stores then The Gift List Company or The Bottom Drawer could be for you.
Wedding fund gift list
If you’d rather have more control over your money, then open a new joint bank account and ask guests to simply donate their wedding or honeymoon cash gift by a cheque made out to you both. To collect the cheques and wedding cards up safely on your big day simply provide a pretty receiving box which you could decorate in your wedding colours with ribbons and trims or an old fashioned style wedding wishing well for guests to post their cards and gifts into. At the end of the night ask the best man to collect it up and bring it to your room.
Honeymoon gift list
If you’ve just about managed to save up enough for your wedding but can’t afford the honeymoon you’d like then this is the ideal gift list option for you. There are various ways of doing this. You could take out an account with an established honeymoon gift list company such as the aptly named HoneyMoney or MoneyMoon and give guests details of how to donate their cash gift towards your honeymoon accordingly. Alternatively you could take out a gift list with an actual travel company in which you can ask guests to contribute to your honeymoon: perhaps a flight or room upgrade or particular excursions.
Charity gift list
If you’d like to help a charity on your big day then suggest your guests make a donation to your chosen charity. The British Heart Foundation, Oxfam and Cancer Research are all popular choices. Some charities will provide badges for a small donation which you can use as place cards or favours at your wedding. If you have a charity that is important to you then highlight it with your guests. You’ll probably end up with a special vase or lovely keepsake from one or two guests who prefer to get you something to keep but you’ll feel great for helping raise funds for a good cause this way.
Kate Thompson is Confetti's features editor and wedding expert, and has worked in the wedding industry for 15 years. A widely published lifestyle writer, she has made BBC television and radio appearances discussing wedding trends in the UK.