Sexploits – The Funniest Place You’ve Done It!

Written by    Last updated: January 17, 2011

Where’s the funniest place you’ve ever had sex? Weird and wonderful, spontaneous and planned, there’s nothing better than getting together with the girls and dishing the dirt from the bedroom… or anywhere else for that matter. Here’s what you ‘fessed up to on our forum!

Sexploits - The funniest place you've done it!

 

  • ‘On the bonnet of his dad’s car, parked in front of the front room window (curtains drawn) while his mum, dad, aunty and uncle were sat on the sofa oblivious. I was too scared to go round for about two weeks because he wound me up saying his dad had gone mad because my bum had dented his bonnet… I was horrified that he had told his dad what we had been up to… He was only joking though!’
  • ‘In a portable toilet whilst in full American Civil war re-enactors costume, hoop, corset, pantalettes, etc!’
  • ‘In the front seat of a borrowed car – got found out when my footprints showed up on the windscreen the first time the sun shone!’
  • ‘On a hotel balcony in Majorca! We were on our honeymoon this year and I decided to put on all my wedding lingerie again with the shoes and we were on the balcony when we heard lots of cheering! Only to see his mates three balconies away, and as the hotel was staggered they saw… everything!’
  • ‘On top of an antique wardrobe (I was very young, drunk & flexible!)’
  • ‘On my parents’ kitchen table.’
  • ‘In someone else’s caravan in the middle of nowhere. It was unlocked so we did it up against the wardrobe! Luckily they didn’t come in or there was no one around to see!’
  • ‘In the backstage toilets of a theatre half an hour before we went on stage.’
  • ‘In a Neolithic tomb settlement!’
  • ‘Under the desk in the rector’s office at university.’
  • ‘In a police car!! (I was a Special Constable) and at work (with husband!)’
  • ‘Round the side of our house once because we’d never done it outside and it was a lovely day and we are surrounded by fields other than our neighbours who were out. It was over very quickly (excitement was unreal) and was unforgettable!’
  • ‘Down an alleyway on the way home from the pub (didn’t notice people walking past!)’
  • ‘In the server room in the building he works in – thankfully no one came in, and it’s air conditioned!’
  • ‘In the swimming pool on holiday – naughty when people are lying around sunbathing totally oblivious.’
  • ‘In a graveyard. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I was young, drunk and got talked into it by my then boyfriend.’
  • ‘In a nightclub toilet.’
  • ‘In the back of his parents’ car, it was his mum’s 50th birthday party and we were sent out to get some supplies.’
  • ‘In a lift.’
  • ‘In a glass conservatory. Very risky but we got away with it!’
  • ‘At my cousin’s wedding, in the gardens behind a wall where they were having a champagne reception. I’m not proud but was very amusing at the time. We’re having less champagne at ours!’
  • ‘Outside, by the edge of a river.’
  • ‘In the toilets of a pub.’
  • ‘In the sea.’
  • ‘On the 18th green of a golf course in St Andrews.’
  • ‘In a hammock in the garden. We decided it would be fun until we heard someone round the back of our garden. We have a fence with the gaps in!’
  • ‘In a public sauna – there was no one else in there, although someone did walk past.’
  • ‘In a tent at various festivals.’
  • ‘On the washing machine.’
  • ‘In a cinema (during the movie).’
  • ‘On a full size snooker table in a cottage we were renting.’
  • ‘In an aquarium. My ex’s cousin was getting married at a tropical gardens type place and there was a massive aquarium on one side of the function room which was basically a huge glass wall. We went into the next room which unfortunately for us was the other side of the aquarium!  Fortunately nobody saw us but I did turn around at one point to find myself being eyeballed by a massive shark!’
  • ‘On the sofa in the living room while two other people were in the room, and awake!’
  • ‘In a cave.’
  • ‘In a field.’
  • ‘On top of a high sand dune.’
  • ‘On my parent’s sitting room floor in front of a log fire at Christmas time.’
  • ‘At the local leisure centre where we both worked and were often left by ourselves at the end of the night so we had the run of the place. One night we were stuck waiting for an alarm specialist as it wouldn’t set so we went at it on the floor in the middle of reception. There were glass doors and everything. We also climbed up on top of a pile of those big squashy blue mats they used for gymnastics, that one was fun.’
  • ‘In the toilets at Butlins.’
  • ‘In the middle of a wood, in the middle of nowhere in Canada.’
  • ‘In the back of a disused lorry in a retail park – we squashed a cardboard box so I could lay on it as I didn’t want to get dirty. Oh the memories.’
  • ‘In a public park at night – was a bit too caught up in the moment and didn’t realise until it was over that we were in a load of stingy nettles!  I was covered in stings!’
  • ‘At the back of a full coach on the way back from London!’
  • ‘In the back of the fire engine – he is a fireman! What I wished I had known before though was that practically everyone who has worked there has also done the same. I wanted to scrub myself after that!’
  • ‘On his mum’s back doorstep a few Christmases ago! I had a French maid’s outfit on, his massive woolly housecoat over the top of it and my trainers.’

Where’s the funniest, naughtiest or most unusual place you’ve ever made love?

See more great advice in our Health and Beauty section!

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