Being certain you want to get married is the crucial rule of engagement
There’s little point in getting engaged if you’re not really intending to set a wedding date. The engagement ring is supposed to be a visible symbol of a promise to wed, as well as something the bride‐to‐be can show her mates.
Don’t make promises you can’t keep. Think twice if:
- you don’t feel sure that you want to spend the rest of your life with each other
- it’s a spur of the moment decision or a drunken idea
- you’re getting engaged due to pressure from parents or to keep up with friends
- you have some serious unresolved issues as a couple: problems with finances, ex‐partners or children (the ones you have, or the ones one of you doesn’t want to have, usually)
- it just doesn’t feel right.
The one person you might want to tell before you pop the question is the father of the potential bride. It’s traditional to ‘ask for his daughter’s hand in marriage’ and doing so will probably win you lots of brownie points, but there is no reason why this shouldn’t happen after you’ve asked your partner.
Finally, most engagements are secured with the help of a big sparkler! If you choose to present your partner with this ring at the proposal, be very sure that you know her taste in jewellery and her ring size, as she’ll hopefully be wearing it for a very long time. But bear in mind that a lot of women would actually prefer to go out and choose a ring together with their partner.