You fell in love and now you’re sure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that there could never be anyone else for you. Suddenly it makes sense to get married and spend the rest of your lives together. How will you ask the question though, will it be a big proposal or more of a quiet discussion? Here’s everything you ever needed to know about getting engaged, including the most important aspect of all…
Image from The Marriage Proposal Survey by Chilli Sauce
Proposing marriage to the love of your life is one of those ‘once in a lifetime’ moments so you want it to be memorable for all the right reasons. How you ‘do the deed’ and when you choose to ‘pop the question’ is up to you and this romantic time of year is very popular for engagements.
A brand new survey on marriage proposals by chillisauce.co.uk asked 7,000 people across the UK for their views. They revealed that 24% of men will pop the question on Christmas Eve, making it the most popular day of the year to propose.
The results indicate that men could be popping the question too early, as 22% of women would rather their partner to propose to them on Valentine’s Day and 20% are hoping to get engaged on the anniversary of the day they met – very romantic. Surprisingly, only 6% of the UK would opt for a Halloween proposal. They also revealed:
17% of men in the UK that have already proposed, have popped the question five times or more
65% of men voted that they would say no if their girlfriend proposed
Perhaps the men who asked five times before just didn’t do it right…
Image from The Marriage Proposal Survey by Chilli Sauce
How can you be sure?
You might be thinking about proposing this Christmas or New Year and perhaps you’re still not sure. You might ask yourself: ‘Is it too soon?’ or ‘How can I be sure?’ No one can tell you if he/she is right for you and only you can decide when the time is right but it can help to discuss your feelings with your partner and also with a close and trusted friend or family member.
Planning a surprise proposal might seem very romantic but a lot of us don’t like surprises and I’m a firm believer that you should discuss marriage seriously before anyone pops the question because it can feel overwhelming if you’re not expecting it and you know everything is riding on your answer.
An engagement ring is a promise. It’s a sparkling and tangible promise to your betrothed that you will marry them. Some girls are presented with a ring, others choose their own. There are no rules and while it can be impressive to have a perfect sparkler in a velvety box to present on bended knee, there is always the risk that she won’t like it or it won’t fit. Choosing a ring together may not seem as romantic but it can be a good idea.
Engagement ring by Vashi
The ‘mengagement ring’ is quite a new trend. Choosing your engagement ring(s) together is a fashionable modern option as more men are now opting to wear an engagement ring as well as a wedding ring to show their commitment.
Having a bespoke ring designed either as a surprise or together, after the proposal, is a way of making sure your engagement ring is unique and exactly what you’re looking for.
Presenting her with a treasured family heirloom ring is the ultimate statement of trust. In fact an heirloom ring could be just the thing if you want to present her with a box when you propose but know she’d rather choose her own. That way she gets two rings and will love you forever (which of course is just right if you’re getting married.)
The engagement party
It’s another good excuse to throw a party for family and friends and a lovely opportunity to celebrate your good news with them all. You’ll have fun and it can be a good learning ground for your wedding planning.
Consider your guest list, invitations, a venue, if you don’t want to have the party at your home, food and drink and Décor for Your Engagement Party. Many pubs have upstairs function rooms they will let you use for free as long as your guests buy drinks at their bar.
Having simple catering such as canopes or light bites is the easiest way to cater for party guests. Add music, an engagement cake and perhaps even a slide show of photos of you both and you’ve got yourself a party! The next step is booking your free engagement photo shoot with your chosen wedding photographer and then the real fun starts as you plan your wedding.
When you get engaged to be married, you’re making a decision to spend the rest of your life with one person, to put their needs before your own, to stand by them through the tough times of arguments and illness, to keep loving them and never give up.
It won’t always be as it is now, the fireworks of falling in love and the carefree freedom of just being a couple, but if you are good together and both love enough to put each other’s needs before your own then you will make it work and always be happy. This, is ultimately, what getting engaged is all about.
So what is your dream proposal – who, what, when, where and how? Or how did it actually happen? Tell all right here. Your secret’s safe with us…
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Kate Thompson is Confetti's features editor and wedding expert, and has worked in the wedding industry for 15 years. A widely published lifestyle writer, she has made BBC television and radio appearances discussing wedding trends in the UK.