Proposing to your man

Written by    Last updated: June 6, 2006

2012 is a leap year. February 29 is the perfect time for ladies to pop the big question…

According to tradition, on the last day in February in a leap year, the ‘normal’ order of proposals is reversed and woman can pop the question to men. But why wait? If the time is right, but he doesn’t seem to be showing any signs of getting down on one knee, then perhaps you should ask for his hand in marriage regardless of the date! If you like the idea, then read on….

Right place, right time

When plotting your proposal, it’s particularly important to bear in mind that place and time are very influential. Some guys will know you’re serious when you ask them over the washing up, others need to be in the middle of Florence at midnight before the setting is romantic enough for them to know you mean it. And, in the same way that you would prefer to give 100 per cent of your attention to this life‐changing moment, be sure to wait for an opportunity where he isn’t absorbed in watching the footie, or even changing the baby’s nappy.

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Look at it his way

When choosing your moment, remember this is his proposal. In the same way that he would take you to your favourite restaurant, or buy a ring you like, or send you the roses you love most, you need to pick a proposal scenario that will appeal to him. So, even if your ideal proposal takes place on a beach, with waves lapping at your ankles, if he is happiest on the terraces at Anfield, then that’s where you have to seize the moment (in a quiet moment, not when the crowd is drowning you out!).

With this engagement ring…

Do you get him a ring or similar token? This is entirely up to you. If he normally wears rings, then it would probably be an appropriate gesture. Otherwise, you might like to buy him a watch. However, it’s the question (and answer!) that’s really important, so don’t worry about this too much.

Be prepared

Don’t lose sight of what the whole proposal is about. Emma, Confetti’s agony aunt, has this advice: ‘If you ask someone to marry you, it’s crucial to be prepared for the answer they give you. Although 90 per cent of proposals are made by people who are 90 per cent sure they’re going to get the answer they want to hear, a number of people who ask the question don’t know the answer. If you don’t know whether he’ll say yes or no, be prepared for him to say either, and have an idea in your head of what your next step will be in each case.’

After you’ve asked…

Once you’ve made your move, don’t get despondent if he doesn’t yell ‘Yes!’ straight away. There’ are a number of reasons that he might be slow to give you the answer you want. Firstly, he might be plain surprised. Secondly, you might have stolen his thunder. Remember, some men who seem to be dragging their feet on the ‘M’ question are actually really keen, they just haven’t quite got round to it yet. Thirdly, he might not comprehend that you’re being serious! If he doesn’t seem as ecstatic as you might be in the same circumstances, bear in mind that he’s probably never spent any time fondly imagining how he might react if someone asked them to marry him. Give him some time to get used to the idea. Even if he doesn’t say ‘Yes’ this time, maybe it’ll be his turn to ask you next time!

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