Bridezillas are real, they walk among us. A mad hysteria can overcome some brides, turning them into ‘Godzilla’ like monsters as they become overwhelmed with the details of their wedding planning. What may start as a perfectionist obsession about wedding style can end in broken friendships, family feuds and even, dare I say it, a cancelled wedding. Are you, or is someone you know, turning into a Bridezilla? Here’s how to overcome the dreaded transformation, before it’s too late.
Did you hear about the Bridezilla who forced her bridesmaids to write a letter applying for the post of chief bridesmaid? Or the one who told all her bridesmaids to dye their hair dark so she would stand out as the only blonde in her wedding photos? Those who refused were asked to ‘step down’… These are the brides who will stop at nothing to get what they want, convinced that the wedding is ‘their day’. Bridezilla is selfish and needs to feel like number one. She needs to know all eyes will be on her and won’t let anyone stand in her way. If her grandma died the day before the wedding she would be upset only that her table plan was ruined…
Bridezilla is a control freak out of control. Sadly she has lost sight of the real reason for her wedding; these brides are often so concerned with perfection they will never be happy. They set themselves up for a fall and can experience the ultimate post wedding blues as they realize, too late, they put all their energy into the details and not into their relationships. Thankfully Bridezillas are few and far between but they are out there and they need help.
Bridezilla contemplating her next kill… by Anthony Gould-Davies of Halo and Hobby.
Bridezillas are extreme cases but many brides do experience some level of stress during the lead up to their wedding. In many cases the most useful way to deal with stress before it gets out of control is simply to ask for help – though the Bridezilla may be too proud or too arrogant. Bridezilla tendencies become worse if there are other stressful situations such as illness or existing family feuds. Women need to be kinder to themselves and each other, and remember it is no small feat organising a once in a lifetime event for so many of your nearest and dearest. Ask for help and learn to delegate where you can; keep calm and make sure you are well organized but don’t become obsessive. Try to accept that things may not always happen as you want them to. We all have our own ways of coping, from yoga and meditation to a glass of wine and gentle music. Book into a spa hotel to relax and you will stop any feelings of spiralling out of control and nip the Bridezilla urges in the bud.
My best advice to Bridezillas is to consider other people’s feelings, as contrary to popular belief it is NOT ‘all about you’!
Involve your fiance, family and friends and enjoy your wedding planning. Your wedding is not a day when everything has to look perfect, it is the joining of two families and a celebration of your love and marriage. Now go in peace and share the love.
Kate Thompson is Confetti's features editor and wedding expert, and has worked in the wedding industry for 15 years. A widely published lifestyle writer, she has made BBC television and radio appearances discussing wedding trends in the UK.