The aisle is one of the biggest elements of the wedding ceremony, not least because the bride has to make her way down it toward the altar. Traditionally, it’s the…
Written by Anyonita Green Last updated: September 16, 2015
There’s so much content on the web and in magazines about why you shouldn’t let children attend your wedding, but not very much support for those brides and grooms who want children to be a part of their day! Here’s the benefit of allowing children at your wedding:
Unless your groom’s best man comes in fancy dress, chances are if you’re having a flower girl or a page boy, they will be children. And after their flower throwing and ring holding duties have finished, you can’t just send them home. You’ll have to endure them throughout the ceremony and the reception.
Your best bet? Invite other children to keep them company and entertained and out of everyone’s hair whilst the grown ups do boring wedding stuff.
Here’s a fact anyone planning a wedding needs to hear and understand: newbie parents aren’t going to be too keen on leaving a new baby at home. Don’t even ask them to consider it. You know that face you make when you’ve spotted a new pair of must-have Jimmy Choos, but pay day is weeks away? Your new parent friends will be making that face if you suggest they get a sitter for your wedding.
And don’t say, “It’s just one night!” That makes you sound like an insensitive baby hater. And we know you don’t hate babies.
No, really. It does. Children learn by doing and by being instructed on what to do. Think about yourself: do you think you just woke up one day and said, “Right, I’m going to walk today!” No, you didn’t. You were taught how. Your parents or guardians spent countless days on their knees, steadying you and helping you to take your first steps.
For children, a wedding and any situation that teaches valuable skills for behaving in the real world is a learning experience. As their parents teach them to keep quiet during the ceremony and not to run amok in the venue, tipping over drinks and smashing glasses, they’re learning.
No, having kids at your wedding probably won’t be the smoothest of experiences. There may be a few accidents, but it definitely won’t be the end of the world.
Weddings aren’t just expensive for the couple getting married; guests have to shell out money on clothes, travel, drinks (if you have a cash bar) and obviously the gift. Ask them not to bring their child and you’re looking at, at least, another £30 for a child minder for the evening. Just think: if you’ve been invited to 4 weddings a year, that’s 4 wedding gifts at an average of spend of about £50. Add on to that at least £30 for a child minder and you’re talking a whole lot of cash!
Listen, children at a wedding does not have to be a nightmare. Here are four ways to make it work for you:
Here’s the bottom line, whether you allow kids at your wedding is entirely up to you. If you don’t, be sure to tell parents in advance. There’s nothing worse than taking your young child to a wedding, only to be told rudely that he actually wasn’t welcome. This happened to me. The couple hadn’t given any indication that children weren’t welcome on their invitations, but had instead opted to tell people personally. Unfortunately, they forgot to tell me and it resulted in a bit of a scene and us leaving the wedding early. Not good.
If you do choose to allow children at your wedding, then be considerate of their needs. Tone down the expensive crockery, go easy on the candles and give clear instructions of what’s going to happen so that parents know when it might be more appropriate for them to nip out with really young children to minimise disruptions. Also, don’t forget that children will want to eat at the reception, too. Whilst I’m not suggesting bangers and mash and cartoon character shaped pasta, it’s probably not a good idea to only serve extremely spicy curries or food that kids will generally turn their noses up at. If you invite them; make allowances for them.