Sabina and Saleem June 1999 - How did you meet? We met in the Summer of 1996, when she was over here on a holiday, she came back and we…
Written by Lucy Leaper Last updated: July 5, 2015
Whether you’ve never spent the time getting to know your other half’s mother or you simply don’t get along with her, bonding with your mother-in-law will be beneficial for everyone, especially now that you’re engaged. You are about to become family with this woman, so improving your relationship with her will not only make wedding planning easier, but your other half will appreciate the effort you are making with her. Your mother-in-law to be is going to be around and a part of your life a lot more now, so wouldn’t it be great to have her on side?
They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and let’s face it, it’s pretty much the same for women if champagne and cake is involved! Take your mother-in-law to be out for afternoon tea, just the two of you. It’s more thoughtful than just grabbing a coffee, which will reflect your sincere intentions of getting to know her better. Take this opportunity to ask her lots of questions and find out more about her. It is said that recalling happy memories puts people at ease and in a positive frame of mind, so where better to start than your mutual affection for her son or daughter?
It’s likely that there’s a part of your mother-in-law to be, that feels sad that she is no longer the number one woman in her son or daughters life and may feels as though she is no longer needed. This could potentially cause friction between the two of you, which is the last thing you need. Asking your mother-in-law to be, to show you how to cook your fiance’s favourite meal is a way of showing her that her skills in the kitchen and as a mother are still valued. For many mothers cooking is the center of family life and is way to express her love. She will be thrilled that her expertise has been called upon!
More often than not it’s the bride and her family that organises the majority of the wedding. However bare in mind, that whilst your other half might be happy to leave you to the decision making, it’s likely that his mother is dying to help out and get involved, especially if she doesn’t have a daughter! She doesn’t have to be involved in everything, but asking her to come along to wine tasting or simply asking for her opinion or advice on an aspect of the wedding, will make her feel involved and valued. We’re not saying you actually have to follow her advice, but asking for it is a sign that you respect her opinion and feel that she has something to offer.
There’s something very personal and touching about receiving a hand written card or letter from someone. Writing a letter to your mother-in-law thanking her for bringing up such a fabulous man/woman and how you can’t wait to be married to them is sure to tug on her heart strings!