You're happily living together and the next natural step seems to be marriage, to make your love and commitment official and legally binding. But how can you know that this…
Written by Agnes Los Last updated: June 28, 2013
No relationship is without its ups and downs and, in order to find true happiness with another person, there will be a certain amount of compromise, but how do you know when enough is enough? How do you know if you are overreacting and how do you cope with your relationship problems? Here’s how to tackle the ‘worse’ in “for better, for worse”.
Because all partnerships have ups and downs, it’s possible you might have just hit a bad patch and there may not be any cause for worry. Try to look at your situation from the outside: does it seem unusual for things to be a bit tense? Work worries, family commitments and health concerns can occasionally take their toll on relationships, whether things are going well or not.
No relationship can survive without trust and honesty. If things aren’t going so well, it’s time to talk to your partner. Hiding your feelings might make you feel better but it won’t do anything to strengthen your relationship. A good partnership relies on each person being able to talk to the other.
It can be very hard to do this when you’re in the heat of an argument, but listening to each other can go a long way to keeping your relationship strong. Even if you’re completely convinced that you’re right and your partner is wrong, you won’t get anywhere if you can’t understand each other. Try letting your partner speak for a few minutes and then ask them to listen while you do the same. This will give you both a chance to truly hear each others’ point of view.
In the same way listening can take a back seat during an argument, staying in the here and now can be tricky too. An argument which starts off about something small can blow up into something huge in no time, if you allow it to. This doesn’t necessarily signal a deeper problem – it could just mean that you’re both tired and stressed and looking to vent at each other. If you’re discussing a particular topic, try to stay on it until it’s resolved.
Big decisions like whether to buy a house, have children or move in together are not ones to be made in a hurry. If you’re feeling emotional, angry or vulnerable, it’s not a good time to decide anything life-changing. Rushing into a decision which is based on a set of temporary feelings will only set you up for a fall.
When you’re ready to make that commitment, you have to be ready to face difficulties. After all, what’s a good relationship if it’s never been tested? People from all over the UK have found success with online dating. Dating websites give you the opportunity to meet lots of potential matches in no time. Once you’re ready to meet someone, you can find matches based on personality traits, interests, hobbies and life experiences.
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