When it comes to planning your wedding remember there is more than enough work to go round, its traditional and only natural for your mother and mother-in-law to want to…
Written by Lucy Leaper Last updated: September 27, 2015
The mother-of-the-bride has a vital role in the wedding, helping and supporting the bride through the planning process and on the day of the wedding. Whether the bride wants your input and help with every little detail or simply needs you there to be mum when things don’t quite go to plan, there are 6 things the mother-of-the-bride should be.
Weddings are a happy and exciting time and it is your role as the mother of the bride to remain positive throughout the process! Listen with enthusiasm when she wants to talk about the wedding (avoiding negative comments about her ideas) and get excited about the little things with her. Don’t bring her down with unnecessary problems and avoid adding fire to the flames when things go wrong.
From wedding dress shopping and food tasting, to picking the flowers and helping with DIY’s, make sure you are on hand to offer advice and support throughout the planning. On the day of the wedding you may also be required to help out with things such as doing up her dress and whipping out a tissue when she gets emotional to ensure she doesn’t smudge her make up!
Inevitably there will be moments when things don’t quite go to plan and in a bride’s mind, this can be the end of the world. Whether one of the bridesmaids has just found out she’s pregnant or the caterer didn’t quite get the flowers the right colour on the cake, it is your job to gently and tactfully reassure and remind the bride that in the grand scheme of things, these things don’t matter.
We’re hoping that the only tears you will see throughout the process are ones of happiness, but if something does go wrong, make sure you are there to wipe away those tears. Let her rant and get everything off her chest, before helping her to relax (bubbles – bath or in a glass!!) and help her work out a solution.
We advise waiting to be asked for an opinion before offering one up and when being honest do so tactfully and without coming across as too negative. This will only annoy and upset the bride. For example, if she asks for your opinion when wedding dress shopping, rather than saying ‘ohhh no, that’s awful!’ tell her you prefer another dress and list the qualities of that dress making the comment a positive one. Also remind her that whilst your opinion may not be the same as hers, the most important thing is that she is happy with her decisions.
‘Why is my husband only invited to the evening do? Why can’t I bring the kids? Why wasn’t I asked to be a bridesmaid?!’
Sometimes, weddings can cause upset between family members and it’s your role as mother of the bride to help mediate these sticky situations. Be the voice of calm and reason making sure that arguments don’t escalate and help them come to a compromise.