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Written by Leanne Smith Last updated: May 6, 2015
The chief bridesmaid is a very important part of wedding planning. But more than that, she’s someone you trust to help and support you during one of the most important times of your life. You know the 9 things to ask your chief bridesmaid to do, so here are the 9 things to ask your chief bridesmaid NOT to do!
Being selected as the chief bridesmaid is a big responsibility, which your Chosen One should only accept if she’s up to the task. It can be a big job—she’s going to be helping you through every moment of the wedding planning. Ask her to stay calm!
Of course your chief bridesmaid wants to do a good job—the last thing she wants to do is let you, the bride, (and her best friend, no less!) down. But if she gets too stressed it can really affect how she functions. Ask her not to make herself sick!
To avoid the weight of the world on her shoulders, ask your chief bridesmaid to delegate tasks to the bridesmaids. They’re there to help, after all, and they’re at her command!
Emotions will undoubtedly run high during the wedding planning process, and the chief bridesmaid is probably your go-to person whom you can vent your feelings to. Therefore, you might sometimes snap at her for no good reason. Make sure you apologise and ask her not to take it personally—it’s probably a by-product of stress and tension, nothing more. But make sure she knows she can always talk to you if she has issues. Don’t lose a friend.
There’ll be differing opinions across the wedding planning, and your chief bridesmaid might get very protective of you. She’ll fight your corner or have ideas of her own, and there’s a possibility that this will cause friction with other members of the wedding planning squad. Ask your chief bridesmaid to pick her battles wisely; sometimes the best thing to do is bite one’s tongue.
Ask your chief bridesmaid not to deliberately embarrass you in her wedding speech. Remind her that some things are better left unsaid, like that time your dress blew up around your neck in the middle of a crowded town square.
Unless she’s already in a committed relationship with one of the groomsmen, ask your chief bridesmaid to avoid getting involved with one of them until after the wedding. There’s a risk of the relationship going awry, and tensions could arise that might affect the wedding planning. Of course all brides are different—you might welcome a relationship between your best friend and your partner’s brother.
By all means, your chief bridesmaid should have a great time (and she’ll deserve it, too, after all of the help she’s given you!) but request that she doesn’t have so much that she’s too hung over on the day of the rehearsal dinner to stand straight when it comes to her speech. Ask her to leave the heavy partying until the actual wedding reception.
Your chief bridesmaid is probably your best friend, and sometimes she might feel like you’re taking advantage of her, or not giving her enough attention. Always make time to speak to each other, and make sure you let her know just how much you appreciate her. Ask her not to underestimate how much you need her!
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