Being the Best Man

June 6, 2006. Written by

The best man is one of the key figures in the bridal party, and his responsibilities encompass far more than just presenting the wedding rings when prompted. As best man, you need to be an organiser, entertainer, trouble‐shooter and a good friend. Here’s what’s in the job description and how to be the best man for the job.

Groom and best man waiting at church

Groom and best man at Lucy and Adam’s Real Wedding

It is quite an honour to be asked to be best man, as the job traditionally goes to the groom’s closest friend or brother. However, since being best man involves public speaking and making sure things run smoothly on one of the most important days in someone’s life, if you don’t feel up to it, it’s far better to say so from the outset.

The best man’s role is to support the groom in the lead up to the wedding, organise the stag do, get him to the ceremony on time, make a best man speech, and generally to be in charge of ensuring everything goes as planned on the big day.

An ideal best man is reliable, with good people skills and a sense of humour, he will also be resourceful and generally unflappable in a crisis. He may even be called on to help settle the mind of a groom with ‘cold feet’ or help to keep the peace between any feuding families on either side.

Organising the Stag Do

Groom and groomsmen before ceremony

Groom and best man with ushers at Ruth and Toby’s Real Wedding

The stag do, or ‘last night of freedom’ can be an amazing male bonding experience for all and it’s usually the best man’s job to organise it, unless the groom would rather do so himself. You will need to have an idea of what the groom likes doing and, perhaps more importantly, what he does not like doing. It’s also worth considering the bride and groom’s relationship when it comes to planning the stag do as not every groom will feel comfortable at a lap dancing club and not every bride will thank you for organising it! That said, if a stripper is what everyone wants then it’s your job to find the right place to go, with the right price for all. There are so many options when it comes to organising a stag go though, it doesn’t just have to be a raucous meal out or drinks at a bar with the groom dressed as a nun… (again, unless that’s what everyone wants!)

You could plan a sailing or golfing trip, a day at the races, a simple pub crawl or a weekend away, the options are almost endless. Liaise with the groom on who he would like invited to his stag do and then either get in touch with the stag do experts or plan it yourself. Just try not to leave the groom tied naked to a lamppost, he and his bride-to-be will thank you for it.

Stag Do by Design a Venture

Stag Do by DesignaVenture

A truly resourceful best man will arrange some keepsakes for the groom and friends to remember the stag do, whether personalised Whiskey glasses, shot glasses or hip flasks. He could also pick up some props for his speech at the same time. Likewise, the groom will want to give the best man a thank you gift to show his appreciation of all his hard work. There is a variety of gift ideas in the Confetti shop.

Best man gifts  at Confetti.co.uk

Best man gifts at Confetti.co.uk

From main image clockwise: Personalised Stag Bubble GlassOld School Personalised Vintage Inspired Clear Glass Flask |

Amore By Juliana Metal Cufflinks Best Man | Vintage Affair If You Instagram Tent Cards

Giving the Best Man’s Speech

Giving the best man's speech at Lucy and Adam's Real Wedding

Giving the best man’s speech

If keeping the groom out of trouble on the stag do wasn’t fun enough, telling everyone all about it could be! The best man’s speech is traditionally an entertaining talk the best man gives to all the guests about the groom and the stag do. Another reason to avoid the stripper perhaps and a great opportunity for anyone who loves to make others laugh.

If writing your own comedy script sounds like too much of a tall order, enlist the help of expert best man speech writers  who offer professionally written, personalised and memorably brilliant speeches. If you’d like to have a go at writing your own then check out the Speech Creator, an online tool that can be personalised to generate a winning speech for you.

This article was written by

Kate Thompson
Kate Thompson is Confetti’s Features Editor and a wedding expert with over 12 years' experience. Kate writes regular features for Confetti and the national press and wedding media. She has appeared on BBC TV and radio and been the expert on live web chats and podcasts.  

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