How to Choose the Best Man for the Job

Written by    Last updated: October 25, 2015

The best man should be dependable and responsible; he is after all tasked with making sure the groom gets to the wedding on time, in charge of the ring, the ushers, organising the stag do and the best man’s speech.

Groom and Best Man Waiting at Church at Lucy and Adam's real wedding

The best man and groom at Lucy and Adam’s real wedding

When it comes to how to choose the best man, it’s down the groom. Usually the groom’s childhood friend or brother, the best man acts as the groom’s wing man in the lead up to the wedding and on the day itself. He may even be called on to help with the gifts in the days after the wedding while the happy couple are on honeymoon.

But if the groom’s best mate has always been just a little unreliable and isn’t all that keen to ever organise anything, or perhaps he’s particularly shy or has a real dislike for the bride, then he may not be the best man for the job. Here’s what to consider when making your decision:

Is he trustworthy and reliable?

You’re going to be trusting him with looking after your all-important, and probably quite expensive wedding rings and presenting them during the ceremony so make sure he’s not the type to forget to bring them, or worse – lose them before the ceremony!

Ring boxes by Confetti and Ring photo courtesy of Aurus |

Ring boxes by Confetti and Ring photo courtesy of Aurus

Is he a good organiser?

It will help if he’s a good people person with some organisational skills as he’ll be in charge of making sure the ushers know what they’re doing, managing the groom who may be nervous on the morning of the wedding, and organising the whole stag do – from guest list to venue bookings and finances to mementos.

Is he friends with both the bride and groom?

It works well when the bride and best man get on. There’s nothing worse than entrusting so many important elements of your wedding to someone who you don’t particularly like and who you know doesn’t like you. He will be organising the stag do and making a speech at the reception so it is important the bride approves of her groom’s choice of best man.

Best Man Speech at Lucy and Adam's real wedding |

The best man’s speech at Lucy and Adam’s real wedding

Will he stand up and speak in front of a crowd?

It’s not a deal breaker but it will help if the best man you choose is not too nervous of public speaking, so nervous that he feels the need to down so many stiff whiskies he makes an embarassing faux pas in his speech! It can work very well to choose an extrovert best man, someone charismatic man with a real sense of fun who will be right up for the job of organising a brilliant stag do and making a legendary speech. You can make things even easier for him and hire a professional speech writer so all he has to do is stand up and make the speech, giving you peace of mind it will be memorable for all the right reasons.

This article was written by

Kate Thompson
Kate Thompson is Confetti's features editor and wedding expert, and has worked in the wedding industry for 15 years. A widely published lifestyle writer, she has made BBC television and radio appearances discussing wedding trends in the UK.



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