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Written by Paula Jones Last updated: June 6, 2006
As mother of the bride, dealing with the invitations will be one of your pre‐wedding tasks. The usual invitation wording is…
Paperwork is part of the mother of the bride’s duties
As mother of the bride, dealing with the invitations will be one of your pre‐wedding tasks. The usual invitation wording is:
Mr and Mrs Jonathan Jones request the pleasure of your company at the marriage of their daughter
To Mr James Bond
At St Mary’s Church, Milton,
On (date, month, year),
And afterwards at (reception location).
RSVP (hosts’ address).
If you are divorced or separated, the easiest way to word the invite is to simply include both your full names, to underline that you are individuals:
‘Mr. Jonathan Jones and Mrs James Jones (or other surname if remarried) request the pleasure, etc’. Or the invitation can come solely from you!
Along with the invitation, guests will need directions to the venues and information on overnight accommodation.
Confetti can help you solve your invitation dilemmas. Read all about it in our confetti buyer’s guide to invitations and stationery or browse the selections on offer in our store.
Some people prefer to wait until asked, but you might want to include gift list details with the invitation. Whether you choose to or not, it’s no longer considered rude to do so.
If you don’t feel comfortable sending out a gift list with the invitation, one way round it is to put the list online and simply include the Internet address.
You can set your gift list up on confetti by registering for the gift list tool.
The advantage of gift lists is that they avoid the problem of ending up with duplicate presents, so encourage your daughter and her fiancé to have one.
Check your daughter’s gift list contains a big range of products at different prices. For guests there’s nothing worse than finding they can’t afford to buy anything on the list.
If your daughter is too busy to compile a list, confetti.co.uk’s gift list service can help. She can do it from home, using confetti.co.uk’s wedding book with 1,500 products.
Alternatively, she can set up a personalised wedding web page at My confetti.
A little bit of gentle mother of the bride bullying comes in handy when it comes to gift lists. Tactfully encourage people you know well to buy from the list, so the couple get at least some of the items they want. Ask your daughter which presents she most wants so you can suggest people buy these first.
Keep checking the list to ensure there are still gifts left to purchase. The bride may need to add more items, especially in the mid‐price range. It’s worth adding some last minute extras for the disorganised!
If this is your daughter’s second marriage or she’s been living with her partner for some time, they may already have everything for the house. But modern wedding gift lists can include just about anything from a scuba‐diving course or spa treatment to salsa dance classes.
The list doesn’t need to be all unpatterned china and white bedlinen. It’s OK for your daughter to stamp her personality on her list.
See our confetti buyer’s guide to gifts and gift lists for some great ideas.
Traditionally, parents buy the larger items on the list, such as a dishwasher or fridge freezer. But modern mothers of the bride might prefer to buy them a weekend away, their going away outfits or maybe a piece of jewellery.