Take a step forward

Written by    Last updated: June 6, 2006

Traditionally, the parents of the groom are the least involved members of the wedding party. But they don’t have to be…

The role of parents of the groom is changing

Getting the job ‐ continued

Advertising executive Ben is set to marry his long‐term girlfriend Lucy in September. Lucy’s family situation is complicated by divorce and a falling‐out with her father, so the wedding will take place close to Ben’s family home.

‘My parents have four sons and it has been a family joke that one of us would have to marry an orphan so my parents could see one of us married from home,’ says Ben. ‘Of course, they would never have interfered if Lucy had wanted it differently, but they were delighted when we asked for their help.’

Sharing speeches

Some couples feel reluctant to ask the groom’s parents for financial help, but would still like them to be involved. This was the view of London‐based art curator Caroline, when she married her boyfriend Jorge at her family home in Switzerland.

The wedding was organised by her mother but, in a touching tribute to the couple, her mother and Jorge’s father planned a joint speech, each welcoming their new in‐law to the family. By the end, there was barely a dry eye in the room.

Sophie Livingstone, owner of wedding co‐ordinator Livingstone Associates, sums up the changing situation.

‘It is much more the modern thing to allow the groom’s parents to be involved,’ she says. ‘Many people choose not to stick to the idea of the traditional three speeches and arrangements are getting more relaxed.’

So don’t feel limited by tradition ‐‐ throw convention to the wind and when it comes to keeping the folks happy, why not make it a fantastic free‐for‐all!

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