The day has come. Your daughter has announced that she is going to become a wife! Whilst a congratulations is definitely in order, this is possibly a time of mixed emotions for you. Happy that she has found someone to share her life with and who will love and cherish her, but also that disbelief that your little girl is all grown up and that you will no longer be the most important man in he life!
However you are feeling, one thing is for certain, the role of the father of the bride is an important one. If your daughter has two father figures in her life, we recommend taking the time to amicably discuss with the other, how you will share the responsibilities.
Here we take a look at the potential duties and responsibilities your daughter may want you involved in to ensure your princess has the wedding of her dreams!
Traditionally, the father of the bride pays for the wedding, however nowadays the finances tend to be more evenly distributed between the bride and groom and both their families. Sit down with your daughter and discuss what kind of financial help she may need and how you can contribute. Making this clear right at the begin of the wedding planning process, not only helps your daughter budget for her wedding, but also helps avoid awkward situations when it comes to paying for things throughout the planning process.
Keeping Mum Calm
Naturally, mothers want the very best for their children and helping her daughter plan her wedding is no exception. Mum will no doubt take on more than she can handle to ensure everything runs smoothly and this will most likely leave her feeling stressed. It’s your job to help try and keep mum calm and relaxed and remind her that the experience should be enjoyable. Offer to help her or take on some of her jobs such as writing the addresses on the envelopes for the invites or picking up the wedding cake. You may also have to gently advise her to take a step back if you notice that not all of her opinions and advice about the wedding are embraced with open arms by the bride.
This is a special and rare moment for you and your daughter on the day of her wedding. Once you arrive at the venue it is unlikely that you will have a moment together, just the two of you. Take this opportunity to remind her how proud of you are of her and how beautiful she looks, but try to avoid getting too soppy -we can’t have smudged make up!
Whilst she will be excited, the nerves will have probably set in by this point too. Keep her occupied by reminiscing about happy and funny moments you have together as she’s gown up. Before you’ll know it you’ll be at the venue and ready to walk her down the aisle!
This is one of the most important roles of the day for you, but there’s not need to worry. You will most likely have a rehearsal the day before so that you know which side to stand on, when you need to make your entrance, how fast to walk down the aisle, how to lift the veil (this is not normally practiced in the rehearsal, but worth running though if possible!) and where to sit once you’ve done your part.
Traditionally, the father of the bride is the one to kick off the speeches after the wedding breakfast. If you are not used to standing up and talking in front of a room full of people, this will understandably be a little daunting. However, if you give yourself plenty of time to write and practice your toast, you will feel much more at ease on the day.
Remember, it doesn’t have to be long, you don’t have to be a comedian and you are not expected to remember it all by heart. Cover the following points below, using cue cards to guide you, speak slowly and clearly and you will do just fine!
1. Thank the guests for coming and the people that were involved in the organising and contributing to the wedding.
2. Share amusing stories about your daughter growing up.
3. Mention the groom and how you have welcomed him into the family
4. Toast the bride and groom!
If you’re having writer’s block and need some help and advice on writing your speech check out our wedding speech tool!
If you are known for your two left feet this is probably something you want to run through with your daughter before the big day. The dance doesn’t have to be fancy, but having a whirl to the chosen song will make you feel more relaxed and enjoy the experience on the day.
Lucy Leaper is our inspiration and bridalwear specialist! She has a degree in fashion design and 12 years experience in the fashion industry, including 3 and a half years as the manager of a bridal boutique. Lucy loves to hear every little detail about a bride's wedding plans and it is no surprise that the first thing she wants to know is what they're wearing!