What to do with two Dads

Written by    Last updated: June 6, 2006

Families with two fathers can face a few wedding day dilemmas ‐‐ but the father of the bride role is big enough for both of you…

Fathers and stepfathers can both play a role on the big day

Families with two fathers can face a few wedding day dilemmas ‐‐ but the father of the bride role is big enough for both of you.

The invitations 

In a family with two fathers, invitations can be an especially sensitive issue. If one set of parents wants to host, then this can leave the others feeling left out… and leave the bride with the unpleasant feeling of split loyalties.

One way round the issue is to put both families on the invitation. The wording then might be:

‘Mr… (Bride’s father) and his family, and Mrs… (Bride’s mother) and her family, would like to invite you to their daughter’s wedding to….’

It may look a bit of a mouthful, but it means that everyone gets to be included.

Giving away 

For various reasons, the bride might want her stepfather to walk her down the aisle, rather than her father.

If you’re not walking your little princess to the altar, don’t worry. This is far from the only way you can play a part in your daughter’s wedding. She knows this too, so why not get your heads together and plan a role just for you.

Speech sensitivities 

The bride might want to involve both her Dads in the speeches ‐‐ so who makes the father of the bride speech?

One bride handled this extremely effectively by asking her step‐father to compere all the speeches, introducing each speaker and explaining their relationship to the bride and groom. Her father gave the FOB speech. Two speakers, one bride, and each able to contribute to her special day.

Room at the top? 

The bride might want both her father and step father at the top table, but worry that some people might think it strange.

However, with more couples having divorced parents, wedding traditions are changing. Whatever decisions are made, don’t worry about what used to be the ‘correct’ way of doing things. If it makes your daughter happy, it’s probably the right thing to do. If you’re unhappy about any of your daughter’s decisions, talk them over with her calmly and rationally.

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