Great tips for making a marriage work

Written by    Last updated: October 10, 2006

How to maintain a feeling of happily ever after…

Delicate balance

Any partnership is a fine balance between the self and the other, but if each one tries to be caring and sharing then both stand to gain. Achieving this perfect balance between looking after one’s own needs and that of your partner is not always easy, but it is one of the secrets of a successful marriage.

Beat the blues

After the excitement of the wedding and honeymoon, settling into day‐to‐day married life can seem a bit of an anti‐climax and it’s possible to get the ‘post‐wedding blues’. Remember that it’s perfectly normal to feel this way and it is the same after any major happy event, such as having a baby.

Fun and surprises

The way to hold onto the element of excitement is to inject an ongoing element of fun and surprise in your relationship. It helps to keep your relationship alive and vibrant. Plan unexpected treats from time to time. This can be with outings, special meals or just in the way you dress.

Communication

Most counselling techniques recommended for couples involve improving communication between partners. This could mean sitting down with one another and writing 3 things each wishes to discuss and then taking turns to listen to the other uninterrupted for 10 minutes.

Common courtesy

It may sound old‐fashioned but showing respect to your partner is essential for a good relationship. Just because you are married, doesn’t mean that that the rule of common courtesy gets changed. Ask yourself – would I behave in the same way with my best friend?

Giving space

The reason you got married was because you wanted to be with your partner. However, this doesn’t mean that you need to be together at every available moment. Allow yourself and your partner to explore new things and do things that they like. If you can’t share the same activity, why not use the time that your partner is busy with a hobby or interest to do something that only you like.

Simple rule

Whether one follows the concept of karma or not, it is hard to argue with the simple rule that it is our actions that produce good or adverse outcomes. Taking responsibility in the relationship is key to its success. As Deepak Chopra, self‐help guru, say it’s actually very simple, ‘If you want joy, give joy to others; if you want love, learn to give love; if you want attention and appreciation, learn to give attention and appreciation.’

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